It ain't news anymore that Sony Pictures' emails got hacked (in Beyonce speech: hackt). It's definitely a flagrant violation of privacy on the ol' Net, certainly not the first one this year (don't forget the rage of nudegate). And honestly, in my opinion, would have been pretty harmless had only conglomerate secrets leaked; but, unfortunately, the hackers were relentless and released from the lockbox several personal emails between execs and stars, as well as a whole truckload of personal info of individual people, including aliases of stars. Not COOL, y'all.
Who's behind the epic hack? Apparently North Korea is on the shortlist of perps. Regardless of the douchebag who did this, there's a sliver of a silver lining among the crap heap: an email between Jonah Hill and Sony Pictures co-chairman Amy Pascal that all but confirms an upcoming crossover between the Men in Black franchise and the 21 Jump Street soon-to-be franchise, if the roll credits are any indication. I'm downtown for this collab, since both movies are outrageous and hilarious and just plain decadent. Sadly, the email chain implied that the OG Agents Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith would not be involved (there's still hope for Josh Brolin to hop on the money train, though) but it did delight me with this very concise, very 'sent from my iPhone' email from Jonah Hill: "jump street merging with mib i think that’s clean and rad and powerful."
Which begs the question: How should Sony Pictures take advantage of their ouvre of great films and franchises for other potentially great crossovers? They hold Columbia Pictures as well, and of course, Sony Pictures Classics, and they have quite the stockade of both blockbusters and amazing independent films. Here are 6 more crossovers we'd love to see from the film giant.
Julie & Julia and Pineapple Express
BFFS Saul Silver and Dale Denton go to New York. By some chance, a very stressed out Julie Powell who cannot handle the pressures of fame catch 'em smoking a blunt and she asks to buy some weed from them. In exchange instead they all get stoned and she makes like some fancy ass duck with twine tied around it. May or may not hallucinate the ghost of Julia Child in her apartment. Chris Messina is ornery.
The Vow and 50 First Dates
This one just seems like a freebie. Channing Tatum takes Rachel McAdams to Hawaii for a vacation in his continued attempt to make her remember that she was once In Love with him. He meets fellow persistent creep Adam Sandler who has to remind Drew Barrymore every goddamn day she's the mother of his kids. The men get drunk and cry in a bar because damn, that sucks. Meanwhile the ladies of memories brief take the boat out and never come back. To be continued....?
The Grudge and Midnight in Paris
This one would be a meta-film breaking all kinds of fourth walls. The girl from The Grudge has taken on a more activist persona, and haunts all the actors in Midnight in Paris and warns them never to star in scuzzy Woody Allen's films again. EVER.
The Da Vinci Code and Ghostbusters
Robert Langdon opens the Holy Grail and, surprise! There's an angry Old Testament ghost in there! Who he gonna call that won't pay any mind to Vatican laws?
The Amazing Spider-Man and Think Like a Man Too
Young Peter Parker, in a more humanitarian effort, descends about the bachelor party that never ends in Think Like a Man Too and attempts to save them from their super blatant on-screen sexism. For Gwen!
Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace and Skyfall
Daniel Craig as the Bonds from Casino and Skyfall travel back and forward in time, respectively, to destroy the travesty that was Quantum of Solace, to forever expunge it from marring the tenure of Craig's Bond. He deserve as much.