In Defense of Face Sitting

Y'all know about face-sitting, right — like, sitting on your partner's face while he/she performs oral on you? Yeah, that sometimes-fun thing that you probably prefer to do if you've groomed yourself day-of. So, I'm gonna level with you and admit that I didn't even know the act was controversial until the UK banned face sitting from porn, along with a slew of other sexual acts, last week. I mean, it's pretty much just a less distracting version of 69ing, no?

Anyway, in case you missed it, a bunch of our friends across the pond just hosted a sit-in outside of the House of Parliament to protest these rulings. I mean, it was really more of a sit-ON, if you catch my drift... Politics.co.uk has a very British summary of the whole shebang:

Dozens of fully-clothed men and women placed their crotches in contact with willing partners in protest against new pornography regulations, which came into force last week.

Once the assembled participants had gotten into position, they sang Monty Python's Sit On My Face song.

Some might call this MENTAL, but I think it's BLOODY BRILLIANT! (I studied in London for my semester abroad; my slang is very authentic.) I mean, the point of the sit-in was to call attention to the way the UK's porn ban is impinging on sexual liberty more broadly, but I'm also glad to see such a public defense for face-sitting in particular. Otherwise, I would never have even considered why some people might perceive it to be controversial, and I never would have found myself wanting to defend it, as I will now proceed to.

Tracy Clark Flory did an excellent write-up about the power dynamics of face-sitting this over at Salon:

Face-sitting, which is also referred to as “queening,” is typically about dominating or being dominated. ... The cultural symbolism here is just rich: What is more “demeaning” than a man being subsumed by a vagina, the place from whence he came?

She goes on to explain that the UK's concern over the act is due to its asphyxiation potential. And, yes, erotic asphyxiation can be part of face-sitting, although it isn't always. I mean, vaguely erotic asphyxiation is also an inadvertent consequence of giving head with a head cold — what, like you never have? — so, I mean, I don't know, this doesn't seem that much crazier. Plus, annoyingly, the dude-on-top iteration of this particular act isn't banned. Male genitalia is not exactly a ventilator, you know?

I've written before about feminism and porn, and how there are different camps about what's cool and what's not, based on waves and individual relationships to sexuality and the patriarchy. It's a lot to get into; suffice it to say that I personally am all about owning my sexuality as a woman, and that I try to avoid viewing myself through the male gaze.

But, like, I don't think we even need to dive into all that today! What I'd like to say is this: face sitting can be totally fun. Face-sitting is a great alternative to receiving on-your-back oral. Face-sitting is a crucial half of 69ing, which is a swell thing for two people to do together! And this is just me speaking from personal, vanilla experience, but I honestly think it's pretty easy to do safely, no matter what kind of junk's on top.

Banning girl-on-top face-sitting in porn is just a ridiculous, sexist non-solution to the much larger problem of limited sexual education. (Imagine talking about erotic asphyxiation, or fetishes in general, in your 10th-grade health class.) If someone would like to devise a potential plan for that issue, I'm all ears. Until then... ride wit me.