Joanna Connor's Guitar Skills Are Ridiculous

Dear Joanna Connor: Please marry me. Okay, I take it back, I've been burned in love so many times before, but at the very least, would you please consider teaching me how to TOTALLY SHRED ON THE GUITAR? Not sorry for the caps lock. Sometimes a girl's gotta lock her caps to make her true feelings known. In the face of her sheer electric genius, I have turned into both Wayne and Garth. I am not worthy. I will never be worthy.

I'm 31 years old. I'm a lady with short hair. I'm a size 14 (what up, Buffalo Bill). I'm a feminist. I write on the internet, for Pete's sake—and I was still taken aback to see a woman who looks the way we're taught to think boring aunts look do something like dominate this hard on a guitar. That's how deep this whole cultural indoctrination goes, man! *Puts on small triangular hat made of foil* But seriously, as a pretty aware and actualized broad (for someone who says "broad", anyway), I shouldn't bat an eye at Joanna's performance.

*Removes small triangular hat made of foil so as to be taken seriously as a feminist/human being again*

That's what makes this video so important. A popular internet troll who goes by the handle of Berta Lovejoy tried to take ownership of this video. "She" wryly called this piece "Down With The Patriarchy" and posted it prove that "women are superior to men on the guitar." I'm all about equality, so while the trollish verbiage totally doesn't jive with me, the funny thing about the troll choosing to back this video is that it's making more people watch it, which is good! We need more videos of unconventional drummers, singers, actors, politicians, moms, bartenders, all of it! Let's keep stereotypes in check by smashing our own preconceived notions every single change we get!

*Turns on Spice Girls, regrets nothing, maybe eats a french fry or twenty*

Image: Chris VanDyke/YouTube (1)