What Was French Wearing on 'the Hamptons'?

A mystery struck Sunday night’s episode of Kourtney and Khloe Take the Hamptons . A mystery that would haunt me forever (well, until I finally re-watched the relevant clip, that is): What the what is French Montana wearing?! Allow me to set the stage: Khloe Kardashian and French Montana walked into kitchen of the Hamptons house to greet Hamptons houseguests Pastor Rich and DawnChere. But this wasn’t your run-of-the-mill “welcome to the Hamptons house” greeting. Because French was topless and wearing an unidentified garment around his lower half.

I did not hear the explanation for his ensemble. I was too busy texting about French's pajamas with my friend. Neither of us knew what what we were looking at, but we were happy about it nonetheless.

Here's everything I thought the garment could possibly be:

  • A towel
  • A Snuggie
  • A pillow case
  • A bed sheet
  • A table cloth
  • A picnic blanket
  • A silk cape
  • A velvet robe
  • A satin cloak
  • A quilt made out of black cloth napkins
  • A quilt made out of black placemats
  • A canvas tarp dyed with the black blood of bugs
  • A blanket coated with tar
  • A fancy garbage bag
  • A laundry hamper liner
  • A pelt
  • A seal's hide
  • A hallucination
  • A hologram
  • An illusion
  • A dream
  • A wish

I had to learn the truth. I had to hear what it was French and Khloe said about the mystery article of clothing. So, I sought out the clip and listened closely. The answer: a t-shirt. French ran out of clean shorts, so he got resourceful: He grabbed a t-shirt, stuck his feet through the armholes, and called it a day.

Dangit, I almost had it.

I love French Montana.