We’re on the precipice of the New Year and it’s officially time to draw up the 2014 Hollywood Yearbook. So let’s pretend for a little that the entertainment world is one big high school class and award celebrity superlatives for 2014. Sound like a fun game? Of course it does! Everyone loves applying the social structure of your teenage years to famous people!!!
Naturally, Beyoncé is a shoe-in for most popular. Jennifer Lawrence has become the highest grossing actor in Hollywood, not to mention the most Googled person on Earth. If that doesn’t make this girl Most Likely to Succeed, I clearly have no idea how to judge people. With his winter girlfriends, Harry Styles wins Class Flirt. With the publishing of her wisdom-packed memoir and her work on Smart Girls at the Party, Amy Poehler takes home Personality Plus — no contest.
Because two-oh-one-four was a year replete with celebrity weirdness, plenty of this year’s celebrity events defy the high school superlative categories. To acknowledge the special snowflake quality of these events, I’ve even drawn up some more specific categories to fit the unique achievements of your favorite actors, pop stars, and celebutantes. You’re welcome.
Crank up the Vitamin C and get ready to look back on the year in review. Here are the high school superlatives of your favorite celebs in 2014.
Classic High School Superlatives
Most Likely To Succeed - Jennifer Lawrence
Even if 2012 and 2013 were equally as exciting for her, the Mockingjay star has reached the zenith of the A-list this year. In 2014, she surpassed Kim Kardashian in Googlability (which says something) and was named the highest grossing actor of the year by Forbes magazine. May the odds be forever in your favor, Katniss.
Best Dressed - Lupita Nyong'o
The 12 Years a Slave actress stunned repeatedly on the red carpet in gorgeous dress after gorgeous dress. Nyong'o can even get away with wearing a green fishnet to the Met Ball and still be a chic beast.
Well played, Lupita. Well played.
Class Clown - Julia Louis Dreyfus
Best Friends - Lorde & Taylor Swift
Lorde and Swift's relationship defined the year in besties. They make paper dolls together. They rarely leave each others sides at award shows. They defend each others' honor on Twitter. This calls for a buddy superlative.
Class Cutie - Benedict Cumberbatch
Dawwww... Who doesn't love that face?!?!
Personality Plus - Amy Poehler
When she's not playing the most endearing city employee on Earth, helping young girls feel good about themselves, or writing treatises on awesomeness, Amy Poehler is forever making us glad that she exists.
Class Flirt - Harry Styles
Three years running, Styles has been the flirtiest flirt this side of the western hemisphere. It's just a vibe I get. Furthermore, he's just incorrigible with those seasonal significant others.
Cutest Couple - Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield
They're great on screen. They're great in sketches. They're great in life. You know you love them.
Most Changed Since 2013 - Nicki Minaj
Talking in fashion terms, Minaj became a TOTALLY different person this year. Minaj underwent a shockingly pared back make under, losing the wigs and psychedelic clothing for simple hair and sophisticated frocks. She like, pretty much sits with a totally different crowd in the lunch room now.
Most Seen in the Halls - Justin Bieber
I knew that Justin had a bit of the devil in him, but 2014 saw his legal rap sheet grow like crazy. In high school terms, he's the formerly "good" kid who stopped going to class. Now, he roams the hall with the bathroom pass for entire scheduling blocks. The administration is always after him.
Most Popular - Beyoncé
Does anyone have any objections to this? Nope. Didn't think so.
Outstanding Achievement in Unique Pursuits
Most Seen on Mediterranean Vacay - Zac Efron
This summer, Zac Efron was all over the Ibiza yacht circuit. He was literally always sunning himself, riding horseback through the surf, and chilling out shirtless.
Most Ardent Twitter Philosopher - Jaden Smith
You can buy a self-help book written by a new age philosopher, or you can read Jaden Smith's Twitter feed.
Most Likely to Morph Into a Cat - Ariana Grande
Is it even a real headband anymore?!?!
Most Demented Crafter - Miley Cyrus
Literally everything Miley Cyrus touched this year turned into a collage of discarded tchotchkes. This was the source of much entertainment. Also, nightmares.
Best Moves at a Music Festival - Leonardo DiCaprio
Leo's Coachella dance needs no introduction.
Best Use of iMovie - Vin Diesel
Those special effects. The awkward repositioning of the webcam. The only thing that would make this better is a few star wipes. Otherwise, outstanding work.
Best Recovery From an On-Stage Spill - Iggy Azalea
When Iggy took a tumble on stage this summer while performing "Fancy," she got herself right back up and continued rapping. Way to stick that dismount.
Visit our Year In Review Explore page for more stories about the best and worst moments in 2014, and enjoy the best sounds of the year with this Spotify playlist.
Image: Getty Images (16)