This Gross Tool Measures Strangers' Breast Sizes

“Hi, misogyny here. We came up with a whole new way to objectify you by creating a transparent filing folder that measures your cup size. You're welcome, and as always, see you on the sidewalk.” Seems imaginative with a slim probability of actually existing, right? Think again: This treasure actually exists. It comes to us from Soft On Demand and serves as a handy tool for measuring the cup size of a woman's breast (you know, for those moments when she isn't standing close enough to get in a good, non-consensual grope). Let me be the first of many to ask: What. The. Hell.

First of all, don’t bother searching the website where you can procure this garbage. It’s a really disgusting place by the standards of anyone with even a molecule of decency (of which I possess exactly ONE, and that molecule is offended). I looked into it so you wouldn't have to, and trust me, it's a bleak mess.

So, the thing I don't understand is literally why you would need a thing like this to exist. Even if the size of a stranger's breasts is of interest to you, someone ostensibly not close enough to the woman to merely ask her bra size, yet entitled enough to think that it's cool for you to know (and to stare, leer, and judge), then isn't the cup size itself mostly useful if you CAN'T see the actual ta-tas themselves? Like, don't women just tell people their cup size if they're trying to paint a mental picture? If you're so inclined to evaluate a breast by its size, can't you just, I mean, LOOK at it to see if it's big enough to satiate your pervy, horrible brain? I could theoretically imagine a tailor needing a tool like this if, say, their client desperately needed a bra sized but, for some reason, was unable to be touched. So basically, there is no reason for this thing, except to simply remind women of the criteria by which their value is measured by way of its mere existence. Cool job, humans. Way to remind us how rough being a woman is in the lamest of ways.

Here’s a picture of the thing (as if you needed a visual representation) so that if you start seeing this crop up around the office you know what’s up.


Image: Lucy Burrows/Flickr