Nothing spoils a seasoned swagger like distraction. I also have a theory that anytime I find myself feeling fresh as hell, hips well-oiled, and all that jazz, I will immediately stumble and derail the whole thing. I actually consider that kind of frequent (or very frequent, in my experience) humility check to be pretty helpful in maintaining my mental health. Everyone suffers bouts of embarrassment and mortification. They're so frequent, in fact, that most of the time, your awkward moments go entirely unnoticed. Even if you know that, logically, it doesn't change the fact that every time your feet fail to work properly, you instantly feel the crushing anxiety that actually everyone saw you, and now the rest of your life is going to be awful and terrible and no one will ever see you as the graceful unicorn that you know you could maybe, possibly, one day be. Sure, it doesn't make much sense, but that's how it feels when you trip.
All of our efforts to talk ourselves down from the paranoid "oh god, they all just saw that" ledge are completely undermined by this video which explores what would happen should all our quiet reassurances be proven wrong. What follows when a sloppy step meets an uneven sidewalk quickly unravels in a tragic result. BuzzFeed's Quinta Brunson demonstrates this truly nightmare scenario—which, of course, is spurred by another nightmare concept (Instagram's weekly #tbt and the frantic search to find "an old photo of you lookin' cute")—in an act of bravery. Watch as the trains wreck in slow motion.
Literally anyone who matters caught the whole thing. Including:
1. A neighbor
True, neighbors should have mercy on our own slips as they surely have their own. However, they're pretty bad people to see clumsy moments since, well, you probably see them every day.
Again, you see them every day. They should also regard this with compassion but since many workplaces facilitate a ribbing, familial atmosphere, they are relentless with teasing.
3. Childhood crushes
Real-talk: I know I mentioned nightmare material earlier, but this is the definition of nightmare material. I have no idea where my 3rd grade crush is now, but should they catch me in a less-than-graceful moment as an adult? ::Tina Belcher sounds::
4. Childhood bullies
Does the world no longer have mercy?!!
5. A parent
Losing the respect and previously unshakeable love of a parent, someone who is biologically obligated to love you forever? That might be the actual worst. I'm not aware of any documented cases of a parent ceasing to love a child because they were bad at walking, but like, I feel like that would happen to me, not because my parents are awful but just because I'm THAT awkward, and frankly, undeserving of their love.
So I guess in conclusion, be extra careful not to trip. We never do know if these memes are secretly the future warning us against upcoming embarrassment.
Images: BuzzFeedYellow/YouTube; Giphy (5)