If we were all being very honest with ourselves, the hair scrubbing and body washing parts of showering could be done in three minutes or less. But showering isn't really for showering's sake. Showering is the only time during your day when you are completely justified to be standing in one place, being completely unproductive for a solid ten to fifteen minutes without being judged. In other words, it is our little piece of heaven on earth. And because nothing is more waterproof than your own obsessive, weird thoughts, you are basically left with nothing but them to keep you entertained.
Your brain is an awfully strange organ when left to its own devices (not that any of us are necessarily surprised), but there is actually science behind why we have some of our deepest thoughts in the shower: The relaxation of showering releases dopamine, a chemical in the body that has a known correlation with creativity. This combined with the mild distraction of showering allowing unconscious thoughts to seep unhindered to the surface is the perfect recipe for some of the weirdest thinks you'll ever think.
If you are also a fellow shower philosopher, there are two ways I can think of for you to cope: Buying your own waterproof shower notepad, a cheap and nifty way to stem the panic when you have the BEST IDEA EVER and it's going to take a full forty-five seconds to dry yourself off before you can write it down; The other is to join your friends on the subreddit "Shower Thoughts," because you will have an even broader appreciation for the beautiful mystery of warm water thinking. Here are some of the many contributions that will blow your brainwaves away:
1. This bleak but accurate sentiment
2. This hint that all teachers need to start taking
3. And this piece of real sauce that will give you some #sads
4. This secret truth vegans have been hiding all along
5. This brain melter of a sentence
7. This ruff accuracy
8. This extreme pun fun
9. This loose end in The Bible
10. This eyeball revelation
11. This truly upsetting realization
12. This mind-blowing reflection on the history of the human race
13. This statement that won't make you feel right anymore
14. THIS APTLY NAMED WINTER STORM
15. This biography of Pizza-Man
16. This question you will want to immediately ask your friends
17. This haunting thought
18. THIS ULTIMATE TRUTH TO END ALL TRUTHS.
19. This unstoppable optimist
Enjoy your showers responsibly, everyone.
Images: Sony Pictures; Reddit; Screen Gems; Giphy (4)