9 Movies That Are Really Just 'Seinfeld' Plots

In the grand tradition of the Willard tip calculator and the Peterman Reality Tour, America is setting forth with yet another remake: According to The Hollywood Reporter reports that the fantastic Swedish black comedy Force Majeure will receive a remake, starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus. While remakes can prompt eyerolls from seasoned cinema lovers at this point, the bright side is that Louis-Dreyfus seems to be perfect for the role — and for a pretty unlikely reason.

Fox Searchlight is in talks with the Seinfeld veteran and Veep star to headline the stateside incarnation of Force Majeure, the story of a married man who abandons his wife and young children upon sight of an impending avalanche (which turns out to be a false alarm). For the remainder of his ski trip, the fleeing man incurs escalating vitriol from the loved ones he left to fend for themselves…

…which, if you think about it, is more or less just a high-concept episode of Seinfeld itself. I could see it playing out in a number of ways, in fact: Jerry remorselessly rationalizes that he wasn’t going to put himself in harm’s way for a date who didn’t even reach for the check. A cowardly George tries to win back the favor of the new girlfriend he deserted by playing to her pity with a sea of crocodile tears. In fact, this kind of thing pretty much happened already in the show:

As such, I can’t help but set aside our apprehension over the idea of an American reproduction of Force Majeure to see just how snugly Elaine Benes fits into the equation. Of course, Force Majeure isn’t the only feature film from the past few years that could practically be an episode of Seinfeld. Just take a moment to give each of these recent movies a second thought in this new light…

Gone Girl

Elaine: “It got to the point where he was playing video games all day. I had to get out of that relationship.”

Jerry: “So you faked your own death?”

Elaine: “He was wearing sweatpants. Sweatpants, Jerry!”

American Sniper

Jerry: “You’re going back to war?”

George: “War I can do. It’s marriage I can’t handle.”

Jerry: “But it’s your fourth tour!”

George: “I’ll go to ‘Nam if it means getting out of dinner with her mother.”

50 Shades of Grey

Elaine: “It’s getting pretty serious with Christian.”

Jerry: “The guy with the whips?”

Elaine: “You haven’t seen his apartment.”

The Master

Kramer: “You should listen to Lancaster, Jerry. He’s got big ideas.”

Jerry: “Kramer, he’s the head of a cult!”

Kramer: [Makes a percussive noise and walks into the doorframe]

The One I Love

Jerry: “She's dating your clone?”

George: “It's perfect! I'm home watching sports while he's dealing with all the hard stuff.”

Jerry: “You mean relating to another human being.”

Labor Day

Elaine: “I think I’m going to try and make it work with the baker.”

Jerry: “But he held you hostage!”

Elaine: “Eh, he makes a good pie.”

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

George: “Every time we go out, we run into another one of her exes.”

Jerry: “So what are you gonna do?”

George: “I’ve got no other choice. We’re staying in!”

Jerry: “You can’t stay in every night.”

George: “I once didn’t leave the house for a month to avoid small talk with my mailman. This’ll be a peace of cake.”

The Social Network

Elaine: “Facebook was my idea! You stole my idea!”

Mark Zuckerberg: “Elaine, these ideas are all in the air. They’re in the air!”

Her

Jerry: “You’re dating your phone?”

George: “It’s perfect! I never have to leave the house! I can wear sweatpants. Sweatpants, Jerry!”

Images: NBC (10)