Red hair is something that we've been taught to both covet and loathe. Anyone who is a natural redhead like myself knows that when you're young, everyone and their mom will (literally) come up to you and tell you how lucky you are to have red hair and to never, ever dye it. As you get older, though, you start to see how many stereotypes exist around redheads and that the never-ending joke from South Park's Ginger Kids that is so infamous even has its own Wikipedia page.
Redheads are supposedly better in bed, possess the spirit of the Devil, and have shorter tempers than those with other hair colors. All of this is obviously nonsense, but it doesn't really stop people from using the color as a joke. Just last week, a guy I was going to go on a date with from OKCupid asked me if redheads were "as crazy as they say," since he'd never before dated a ginger. Needless to say, we didn't end up going out.
I know that I am tired of hearing any sort of comments about my hair being red, other than the occasional compliment on my color. To all of those who think you are being charming or funny, we've all heard the same jokes 20 times before. So do us each a favor and keep your mouth shut. I've talked to many other redheads who feel the same way and from my own experience, gathered together a list of 12 things us ginger ladies are tired of hearing.
1. "Is that your natural color?"
People who ask this obviously have no idea how manners work, because this is never an appropriate question to ask a fellow human. The implication behind this question also really bothers me, because you know they're going to judge the heck out of you if you tell them it's dyed. Why is natural hair color considered to be better than hair that is dyed? It's your hair, so I say do whatever you want with it if it makes you happy! Natural redheads are not any more "real" than those who've dyed their hair the color, so stop asking us if our hair is natural.
2. "Do your parents have red hair?"
This question is often asked after the previous one, if you tell them that your hair has been red from birth. What person of any other hair color is asked this question? Also, if you took biology in high school, you should really be able to figure this out on your own. Obviously natural hair colors are inherited genetically, so it would make sense that one of your parents is a red head. Even if they're not, someone in your family likely is. Seriously, this is just a personal and unnecessary question in general.
3. "You're so lucky!"
Ugh. If I had a dime for every person who told me I'm lucky for having naturally red hair, I'd be rich. It's cringe-worthy because it puts us in an awkward position — should we lament about how we're really not that lucky or rub it in your face that we possess the hair color that you seem to really want? It's just hair and you can be a ginger, too, if you wish, thanks to the power of hair coloring.
4. "Does the carpet match the drapes?"
This may be the most offensive of all of the things you can say to a redhead. Also, this is just gross and inappropriate — unless you're my romantic or sexual partner. The best response to this, I think, is to turn the tables on them and ask if their hair color and pubes match. They'll probably be embarrassed and get the point.
5. "Gingers have no souls!"
Thanks for calling me a sociopath — it really made my day. I think you're actually the soulless one here for trying to make me feel like crap for having red hair.
6. "Have you ever dyed your hair before?"
This question is obviously more geared towards natural redheads. My answer: Who cares? Do you want to do a background check on my locks? Please find something more interesting to talk to me about, because if that's all you've got, this conversation is going to be over faster than you can say ginger.
7. "Is it true what they say about redheads?"
"They" say a lot of things about redheads, so you'll probably have to be a little more specific here. But I'm guessing the answer is probably no. If you're even going to ask me a question about a stereotype, I'm going to go ahead and guess it's probably not true. No matter what it is.
8. "Should I be worried about your temper?"
If you ask me this question seriously, then yes, you should be very afraid.
9. "Has anyone ever told you that you look like (insert redheaded actress here)?"
Yes, they have. And for the record, I don't think I look anything like her. Newsflash: Not all redheads look the same, just because they have red hair.
10. "I bet you're really good in bed."
Ew. If this is your attempt at flirting, then you've failed miserably. Also, are you really dense enough to think that someone's hair color determines their sexual abilities? Come on, this is such an old stereotype, and it also makes me feel really grossed out — so just stop.
11. "Are you Irish?"
Next time you're asked this, you can pull this interesting fact out: The most redheads actually come from neighboring country Scotland. In fact, 13 percent of the Scottish population is redheaded, compared to only 1-2 percent of the rest of the world. So you should actually be asking me if I'm Scottish and if you do, I'll be impressed by your knowledge and not roll my eyes.
12. "At least you're not a ginger dude!"
This comment will often either come from complete assholes or redheaded guys. Bring on the male tears!
Images: Nickelodeon; Giphy