Entertainment

Their Wedding Will Be Epic & Ridiculous

We all owe Kanye West a thank you. Because the rapper, who notoriously despises paparazzi and all media in general, decided to propose to girlfriend and lover of all cameras Kim Kardashian in front of a large stadium crowd, which included friends, families, journalists, E! cameras, and more people likely inconsequential to the pair's lives. And after watching what the cameras captured, we couldn't be happier of that fact.

The proposal was incredibly over-the-top, suiting the equally over-the-top couple perfectly. At San Francisco's AT&T Park, fireworks lead to an orchestra and a Jumbotron message, which lead to a private speech (shocker) from a down-on-one-knee West. As soon as the couple embraced, people stormed the field and everyone started celebrating, taking pictures and trying to make the cut that will inevitably air on next season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

But if all of that time, money, and planning went into the proposal, what will West and Kardashian's wedding look like? It may be Kardashian's third, but it's West's first, so it's pretty safe to assume that they'll go all out. Thanks to eight seasons of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the most recent of which even included some great West appearances, we've gotten to know Kardashian pretty well, so here's how we fully expect the event to go down:

The Preparation

First of all, Kim's going to need a dress. We gave her some suggestions, but it'll probably take months of shopping or working with a designer for a custom creation. Of course, West will likely be involved in this part of the process.

If they're lucky, Kim's sisters will get to help pick and veto dresses — because we all know that there will be at least three outfit changes each for the bride and groom.

Until Kim finds those dresses that she just loves.

Then Kanye has to step in.

Kim's family will probably want to help, and they may be annoying but at least they're rich?

Kris Jenner will go to any length to please Kim.

But Kim can't let it go too far — it is her special day after all.

The most important decision she'll make is the wedding's theme. It'll need to be something unique and opulent to suit her and Kanye's tastes.

No matter what she chooses, the day will be governed by one broad, overarching concept.

The Big Day

Finally, probably about a year from now, the most epic wedding in the history and future of weddings will arrive. Kim and Kanye will spend some time together before heading their separate ways to get ready.

Kim will have a whole team start getting her ready. Hair, nails, makeup, everything taken care of at once.

Hopefully everything will go perfectly, because we don't want Kim to have to deal with any catastrophes — like a crate of flower petals going missing or the floor of the reception space not being able to support the weight of all the solid gold centerpieces and chairs.

Kanye, meanwhile, will be psyching himself up. I have a feeling that won't be too difficult.

But don't you dare tell him of any problems. That handmade custom suit better be tailored, pressed and ready to go.

Transportation will be needed for the bridal party, but not just any old car or limo will do.

Kim has a love of Bentleys, if you haven't heard.

Once the most important people arrive, tight security will ensure that there are no unwanted guests or party crashers.

If that doesn't work, Scott Disick can tell them how it is.

Then there will be thousands of photos taken — nothing can get in Kim's way.

It's one of the many things she and Kanye have in common.

Although Kim might be even more of a dream, just from sheer volume of experience. She poses when there aren't even photos being taken.

To fans who aren't invited, don't worry. Kim will keep you so updated on social media, it'll be like you were there.

Kimye will greet all of their guests, but in order of fame and therefore importance.

And try to keep from falling asleep when stuck talking to boring old regular people, like relatives.

Kanye will be in his glory, being toasted, taking over the dance floor, and keeping himself and his new wife at the center of everyone's attention.

We'll find out whether Kim changes her name — though if she doesn't, she'll be the only directionless one in the family. Even if she does become a West, Kim will always remember her roots.

They'll be sad when the night ends. All that planning and such a great party, only for it to end in a few hours.

But don't worry Kim: Kanye will always give exactly what you want. If the end of your wedding is too depressing, I'm sure he'll be up for an equally grandiose vow renewal party every year. For now, take this time as a married couple to reflect on the day, and your future together.

Getting married and having an unprecedentedly spectacular wedding might have been stressful at times, and maybe even invited some criticism, but both of you did it for a good reason.

Best wishes to the happy couple. May Kimye last forever.