You know what? You work hard, and it's Monday, and you need a win today. Everybody knows that there is no win quite like that of being smug off your rocker, and the good news is you don't really have to try that hard to summon that feeling today, now that this mash-up of Disney villains falling exists. So what if you're in shambles at work? So what if that guy who cut you off in traffic will never be delivered the karmic justice he deserves? Hades sure was, and that's all that really matters right now anyway.
You might not think that this mash-up would be so long, but there is a full six minutes of Disney villains casually plummeting to their deaths. That's six entire minutes of feeling like the tiny champion you were when you first watched these movies, and thought that the participatory factor of watching it meant that you helped the hero push the baddies off the ledge. Honestly, I'm not sure what will be more powerful when you're watching this, the smugness or the nostalgia. Fortunately those are like the peanut butter and jelly of emotions, so I'm not worried for any of us overloading on the sensory combo.
Here are just a few of the winning dramatic death falls of your favorite Disney villains:
1. Simba drop-kicking Mufasa straight into the depths of hell
2. That douche nozzle from Tarzan biting the dust
(Did anyone else totally not understand what happened here when they were kids? I'm watching this as an adult right now, and I'm like, whoa. That got way, way too real.)
3. Captain Hook getting chowed on for dinner as the Lost Boys cheer
4. The most satisfying sucker punch of all time
Petition to change #ByeFelicia to #ByeHans. (What a shame that he lived to see the upcoming sequel.)
When you think about it, it makes total sense that so many of these baddies just happened to fall to their deaths. The hero/heroine stays all golden and shiny and pretty if they don't get any blood on their hands. Disney profited early on from the smugness of watching the villain die as a victim of their own terribleness, rather than letting the heroes polish off the job themselves and get their fingers sticky.
That being said, here's hoping Disney keeps the Frozen sequel fresh by letting Anna and Elsa freeze Hans and rip his limbs off in the opening number. How's that for breaking tradition?! (I'll keep my day job.)
Here's the full video that shows all the Disney villains you know and love/fear getting their comeuppance the long way:
Images: Disney; YouTube(4)
