I know we're not coming up on Christmas, but in my books it's always cookie season. There's never a season in which I'd turn down delicious Christmas cookies. It has nothing to do with the season to be jolly and everything to do with the fact that every season is a season in which I could really use more baked goods. It seems like we've got recipes for every kind of cookie: from your classic chocolate chip cookie recipes to the gooiest cookies you can make. Here's what you don't have yet: Pooping cookies.
No, not poop cookies. Pooping cookies. These aren't chocolate, emoji shaped cookies. They are literally cookies that poop.
Just let that sink in.
Okay, and we're back.
Let me introduce you to the most amazing twist: They're rainbow cookies pooping sprinkles. For every optimist who has ever been told that the world isn't rainbow unicorns $h*tting sprinkles, THE GODS HAVE ANSWERED. The world officially has rainbow unicorns pooping out sprinkles and all is well.
If you think this is crass, don't worry. There's a non-pooping variety too, which I will only refer to as the "constipated variety" from this point on. Before I give you the full poop scoop and exact recipe, check out the video:
This video is from MyCupcakeAddiction, a noted baked good scholar and the true poop cookie authority. Elise, the mastermind behind MyCupcakeAddiction, is constantly producing new recipe vlogs on her Youtube channel.
To make the sugar cookie dough Elise referenced in the video, here's what you'll need:
- 400g / 14oz all purpose (plain) flour, weighed then sifted - plus extra for rolling the cookies
- 1 large egg
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda (not baking powder, which is what she references in the video)
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 220g / 8oz unsalted butter (you can also use salted butter and eliminate the 1/4 tsp salt)
- 170g / 6oz sugar (caster or superfine)
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
To appreciate this recipe, you also need to understand that Elise is a rainbow connoisseur:
And a sprinkles aficionado:
And you should really be following her on Instagram because look how good these look:
While you might have lost Elise at "purple sausage wrapped into a little blue blanket" (is everyone else hearing that the way I am?!), you have to admit her cookies look pretty sensational. She's thorough. I mean, she made hollow unicorns just so they'd be piñatas, for crying out loud. She gives you the proper protocol for dealing with his hooves and horn AND she teaches you to cut a "little bottom" on your unicorn so it can "pass the stars." If that isn't pure gold, I don't know what is. Personally, I think I'm going to try her constipated variety, mainly because I'd take Nutella over sprinkles any day.
If these rainbow unicorn cookies aren't up your alley, check out a few of Elise's other videos.
She recently made a giant snickers ice cream bar and if you, like me, believe there is nothing more incredible than Snicker's ice cream bars, then you absolutely need to try this recipe too:
Images: YouTube; MyCupcakeAddiction/Instagram
