What "I'm Leaving In A Minute" Actually Means

Everyone's been there. Running late to meet friends, and for some reason telling them you're "on the way" when really you've got one leg in your pants, mascara wand in your hand, standing in front of the TV transfixed by My Super Sweet 16 while casually eating watermelon. You're still 20 minutes away, minimum, but for some reason you insist on telling people you're nearly there. Maybe it's like the secret. If you want it badly enough, it will be true. BuzzFeed has made this neat little video to capture exactly what "I'm leaving in a minute" means, and it's exactly correct.

"I'm leaving in a minute" is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, code for "You won't see my ass for at least another hour." I know, because I'm the chump friend that always falls for this kind of crap. Yep, I'm the idiot who thinks my friends are leaving their houses when they say they are, so I rock up to the bar and have to drink alone for an hour, meaning that I'm probably going to be way too drunk to do whatever it is we were planning on doing before my friends even arrive. (I am a very, very lightweight drinker, which is something that happens in old age.) According to BuzzFeed, here's what "I'm leaving in a minute" really means (and anyone who does this to their friends should have to go on Cersei Lannister's shame walk):

1. I'm totally distracted by something I've already seen a million times on TV right now

2. I still need to shower

3. And Tinder

4. And decide what I'm wearing

5. And do my makeup

6. There's enough time for a snack and a nap right?

7. See you basically never!

Watch the whole video below and let it make you hate either your friends or yourself even more:

Images: YouTube(8)