Life

Adorable Beluga Tries So Darn Hard To Scare Kids

I have a good amount of sympathy for things that are deemed too small, too silly, or too cute to be menacing, because I often get a similar criticism. (Actually, it's more just that I look too young or too short to bring any sort of menacing heat.) But the point is I have general empathy for that struggle. This whale cannot scare children because, try as he might, he's just making them laugh. He's too damn cute for the whole scaring thing and he sure as hell wouldn't have made it in Halloweentown. But he could've done good things on The Wiggles. Maybe he'll make a cameo in the future. One can only hope.

If it's any consolation to the the whale, he isn't alone in this. They are plenty of other animals trying to scare little kids into oblivion and coming up short. There are pups that in their haste to growl at small children have ended up letting out a high-pitched whimper and completely killed their own vibe. There are fish who have tried to bare their teeth from inside a fish tank at a restaurant, but guess what? They're fish in a tank at a restaurant and they are simply not that scary. It happens.

Here's the whale who just ain't got the scares in him:

And here are 5 other animals who were too damn cute to be scary:

1. The lion who just couldn't get that kid's attention

2. This kid is scaring the lion more than the lion is scaring him

3. In a desperate attempt to scare this kid, this orangutang tries flashing him

4. This one just doesn't give any f*c$ s

5. Following this kid around isn't terrifying him in the least