10 Things I Want In The New Nancy Meyers Movie

The idea of fan service is a divisive one in the world of entertainment. Sometimes a movie is more than a movie—it’s also a piece of massive IP and certain fandoms (see: Marvel, Star Wars) have certain expectations about what they do and don’t want to see in a movie that they already think of as “theirs.”

So: what should the goal of these movies be? Is the purpose of fan-driven IP to cater to a specific and narrow fanbase, or to broaden it so it appeals to a wider demographic? Should films seek to challenge and subvert expectations, or indulge them? Is the answer somewhere in between?

I don’t really consider myself a devoted member of any fandom in the Gen-Z sense, but there is one cinematic universe I find myself wildly passionate about: The Nancy Meyers-verse. And, though my personal opinion has been that creatives owe very little to “fan service” in general, in recent days, my opinion has shifted. Netflix has announced that Nancy Meyers — writer and director of Something’s Gotta Give, The Holiday, and It’s Complicated — will be directing a new ensemble comedy and I have some very specific demands.

It's been nearly a decade since we’ve gotten a full-throated Nancy Meyers outing (her allegedly shadow-directing Home Again is sweet, but doesn’t count) and the world is hungry for middle-aged women with successful careers in elegant neutrals.

Here is an incomplete list of things that I want in my new Nancy Meyers movie:

1. A resplendent kitchen. This is a no-brainer for a Nancy Meyers movie. I want at least one island (ideally two), a bowl of lemons the size of my head, and a collection of copper pans that would make Thomas Keller salivate.
2. Fresh cut hydrangeas.
3. Kathryn Hahn, maybe?? Just floating ideas! Off the top of my head, some actors I would want to see wearing cashmere turtlenecks are: Richard Wright, Timothee Chalamet, Kate Hudson, Hugh Grant, Amy Adams, and Oscar Isaacs. You know what? Bring John Krasinski back. Nancy Meyers movies are possibly the best possible use of Krasinksi.
4. Truly excellent looking desserts.
5. A king-sized bed with hotel-crisp sheets and a comforter so voluminous it defies gravity.
6. A claw-foot tub.
7. A bathroom with more international marble than the British Museum.
8. Adult children.
9. Hygge.
10. A woman with a career so successful it makes me think for a moment that maybe I, too, can have it all. I can have a house with a high ceiling and natural light, and roast chicken for dinner and a husband who kisses my neck and great sex after 50. Maybe, that world exists somewhere, and not just on a soundstage. My hair will be effortlessly shiny, my clothing will be all sustainable, handwoven fabrics, and my worries and fears will all be easily and charmingly assuaged over a cold glass of Chardonnay.

I will not be taking questions at this time.