5 Sex Positions He Secretly Hates

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

No matter how much you love having sex, there's probably at least one or two sex positions you hate. Whether it's because it doesn't feel good, it hurts, is boring, it's too intimate, not intimate enough, or some other reason, I'm sure if someone asked you your least favorite position you wouldn't even have to pause; you'd know it right away. (You totally just answered that question in your head, didn't you?)

"I've found that male clients of mine do not really like the modified doggy or woman on top, and each for different reasons," relationship coach and founder of Maze of Love, Chris Armstrong, tells Bustle. "The woman on top position puts women in better control of their orgasm and it gives men better access to the breasts, but there are two things about this position that make it a secret turn off for some men."

Based on Armstrong's findings and my own sexual experience with guys, here are five positions that some men don't like. But of course, when it comes down to the best (or worst) sex positions out there, it's all about personal preferences. Your best bet to finding out your partner's favorite or least favorite sex position? Just ask them.


Woman On Top

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: With your partner on their back, climb on top of their pelvic region, with a leg on either side, and lower yourself down onto them.

Why he secretly hates it: "When the woman is controlling her orgasm, she is experimenting in motion; moving her body, her parts of her body to maximize the feeling," says Armstrong. "This gets uncomfortable for men who don't like the unpredictability and will often overthink what she is and is not doing. Men will also often get self-conscious. 'Does she like this? Why does she keep squirming?' — they ask themselves. Of course, the fact that her control means he's lost some control is, itself, a turn-off for some men."



Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: While in the spooning position (both on your sides, facing the same direction), have your partner penetrate you from behind.

Why he secretly hates it: If basic math (and various studies and surveys) tells us that is doggy style is a favorite among men, this one may not be liked all that much. As one guy once told me, "it's too cuddly," while another guy told me he hated it because there "wasn't enough leverage to really pound." Although there is the factor that he is penetrating his partner from the back, he still doesn't have as much control and leverage that he would like.


Leaning Cowgirl

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: Basically, for this one you're going to get in the regular cowgirl position, but lean back, placing your hands on the bed behind you. Next, start to gyrate.

Why he secretly hates it: For starters, this position allows for zero control for men, something that Armstrong points out as being a turn-off for a lot of guys. Secondly, look at it. What's the first thought that goes through your mind? If it's not a broken penis, then that should be your second thought, because this position is totally ripe for it if you're not careful.


Modified Doggy Style

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: There are a couples ways to get into this position. You can start in regular doggy style, then lower yourself down. Or start on your stomach, with your partner climbing on top to penetrate you that way.

Why he secretly hates it: "To some men, the modified doggy seems too much like a cross between missionary (which a lot of men don't like) and doggy style (which a lot of men love). I've heard guys call it a big tease and an uncomfortable one at that. While they get to go deep and they are seemingly in control and can avoid eye contact, they have to bend and stay bent which can be hard (pun intended) depending on their flexibility and how long it takes for their partner to orgasm. They also don't get to play with the breasts to the degree they could under normal doggy because they are pressed against the bed or floor."



Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: With you on your back, ask your partner to climb on top and penetrate you from here. Missionary, in being the most basic of positions, tends to get a bad rap because of its simplicity.

Why he secretly hates it: As Armstrong tells Bustle, a lot of guys don't like missionary. While the reasons vary, the fact that it's rudimentary in a world where there are so many sex positions, probably has a lot to do with it.

While it's good to know what sex positions some guys secretly hate, certainly not all guys will feel the same. If you have sex with men and you love a position they're not too fond of, then it's time for a conversation and compromise. Good news? There are so many positions out there that you're bound to find some you both enjoy.