Life
Whether you're someone who stresses over a body part or hates how shy you get in big groups, we all have a part of ourselves that makes us feel a little insecure. However, to help yourself practice self-love and boost your confidence, and you can use some mental tricks to help you overcome your insecurities. Loving every part of you fully won't happen overnight, but shifting your mindset and adjusting the way you think about yourself can help you feel more positively about all your little quirks.
"Like anything in life, if we focus on something long enough, it only becomes more and more of an issue," psychologist and marriage and family therapist Kati Morton tells Bustle. "When it comes to our insecurities, if we shift our focus from what insecurities we have and instead spend time acknowledging all we are good at and all we like about ourselves, we can grow healthy self-esteem and confidence."
Because our insecurities are often just these ideas we have in our head, it's important to work from the inside out to help get rid of these pesky negative thoughts. Here are six mental tricks that can help you overcome your insecurities, according to therapists.
1
Notice Your Self-Talk
The first step is noticing your self-talk, and then and working to change it. "I say this all the time, but the conversation we have with ourselves is so vitally important," says Morton. "In truth, we talk to ourselves all day every day, so make sure you are having a loving and supportive dialog with yourself. It can change everything."
2
Visualize When You Feel Confident
If you feel insecure in certain areas, you can begin to focus on all of the areas where you do feel confident, then practice letting that image of yourself flow into all other areas of your life. "Begin by visualizing yourself feeling confident," therapist Jenny Giblin tells Bustle. "For example, if you feel insecure in relationships but confident after a hot yoga class, picture yourself leaving hot yoga feeling amazing and texting the [person] you like, feeling equally amazing."
3
Look For Contrary Evidence
It's important to recognize that beliefs do not equal truths. "Take some time to absorb what that," says Morton. "Just because we think something or believe a negative thought doesn’t make it true. I encourage you to instead notice these beliefs and search for evidence that contradicts it. Be a detective for the positive things about you or a situation."
4
Notice How You Think About Others
How you think about others can also shed light on your current mental state and how you can adjust your attitude. "Are you always thinking negatively or angrily about strangers or others in your life? This is usually a sign that our own conversation with ourself is so rough, that it’s leaking out onto others," says Morton.
Sound familiar? "I encourage you to force yourself to say something positive about strangers and others in our life," says Morton. "It can turn your whole day and mood around." Keeping your thoughts about others positive can also get you in the habit of having those same thoughts about yourself.
5
Own Your Faults
At the end of the day, none of us will ever be perfect, so you have to accept some of your flaws and try your best to work with them. "Something that has really helped me work on my own insecurities and communication struggles is owning my faults," says Morton. "I know I can be stubborn, therefore if I catch myself not compromising for no logical reason, I decide I will give in and apologize. Knowing my faults instead of expecting perfection can help me not only feel more confident and secure in myself, but also stop me from continuing to do things that could hurt myself and others."
6
Make Amends
Making amends can help you become at peace with who you are and give you the freedom to improve in the future. "We ruminate over bad or hurtful things we have done in our past all the time, and possibly worry that we will just keep making the same mistakes," says Morton. "Thinking about these past events can only make our insecurities worse. Make a plan to say sorry and move forward. There is no reason to keep beating yourself up for past events. We can’t change those, we can only change who we are today."
We all have things we're insecure about, but try using these little mental tricks to overcome them and help you ditch those negative thoughts.
