Life

How To Spend April Fools' Day If You Want To Avoid Pranks

by Kiersten Hickman

April Fools’ Day is the literal worst. It’s the day you have to deal with everyone’s shenanigans, and somehow have to pretend to laugh and think some kind of sick prank that a friend pulled on you was actually funny. You spend your day avoiding pranks at all costs, only to get smacked right in the face with something — maybe even a whipped cream pie. If this is you, then I’m sure you’re more than interested in learning how to avoid April Fools’ Day pranks during the worst day of the entire year.

Here’s the big hint: Hide. All day. Don’t open the door, don’t get out of bed, don’t go to work. Avoid classes, avoid work, avoid friends, even avoid your cell phone and all avenues of communication. Because if you do, then you will be quarantining yourself from the chaos of April Fools’ Day, assuring yourself that there is no possible way that you could get pranked. It's even easier to do all of this in 2017, because April Fools' Day falls on a Saturday!

Be aware of where you hide, though: If you live with someone else you are bound to have some kind of prank happen to you throughout the day, especially if your roommate or significant other enjoys a good laugh. Or worse, you still live with siblings that torment you to no end. Don’t worry, if your situation is tragic like this one, there is still the possibility of avoiding pranks all day. You just have to be stealthy at home, carefully checking all of the corners and possibilities, and avoiding people at all costs.

Nevertheless, here’s all of the tactics to perform in avoiding pranks during April Fools’ Day.

Take A "Sick" Day

This is the first, and probably most important step to avoid all pranks. Instead of trying to face the day, avoid it. Take a sick day. Don’t leave the house.

Stay In Bed

If you live with others, the even safer alternative is to hole yourself up inside your bedroom. All meals in bed, cuddle your dog, avoid the outside world.

Turn Off Your Phone

Text messages are one of the easiest ways people can prank you, including your parents. Don’t even bother turning it on throughout those 24 hours, or set it to "do not disturb" andjust allow emergency calls.

Avoid Social Media

Just like text messages, social posts is another easy way for your friends, even news outlets (#fakenews will get so real), to play a huge “gotcha!” Don’t log on.

Only Stream Television Shows

Forget cable, who knows what advertisement will try to prank you! Instead, watch shows that are programmed on sites like Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime.

Don’t Believe What Anyone Says To You

If you have to face other human beings, don’t believe the facts they tell you. Just smile and nod, then look up and make sure that what they were talking about (like the latest piece of gossip about Becky in marketing) is actually real.

Research Pranks And Double Check Before You Do Anything

Before starting your day, take a look at some of the long list of pranks that people could try pulling on you. The internet may be a wonderful tool, but it is a dangerous tool with endless amounts of pranks that people can discover and try to execute. Check all of the obvious ones — like buckets of water over the doorway, plastic wrap on your soap bottles, and even switched condiments in your fridge.

Eat Only Sealed Foods

On that note, avoid any foods that have already been opened — because who knows what you’ll actually find in that chocolate sauce bottle. Only eat foods that are sealed or packaged that day.

Take A Drive

If you are jittery sitting inside all day, then take a break and go for a drive. Don’t turn on the radio (again, #fakenews), and don’t take anyone with you. Just you, the car, the road, and the air.

Order Delivery For Dinner

Don’t bother going out if you don’t feel like cooking on April Fools’ Day. Instead, order delivery from your favorite restaurant.