What am I talking about? Well, basically, the the folks over at The Cut have decided to live out your worst nightmare and put it to film — they got parents to explain masturbation to their children and, as you can imagine, what follows is all of the cringing. It's part of their Parents Explain series and it is, on the one hand, really effing cool, I have to give these parents credit for being open, frank, and sex-positive. It's really amazing and important, especially because a lot of children masturbate without really understanding what they're doing. But watching these parents stumble over talking about it and the kids look horrified is hilarious and amazing. These children are the definition of I CAN'T EVEN. They can't even. They can't even at all.
Honestly, you should watch the whole video because it is very much worth your time. But you can get a quick preview of the rollercoaster of facial expressions and my favorite moments: