Life
After eight seasons of Game of Thrones we all have some questions we want answered. Who will claim the Iron Throne? How does Dany keep her hair so clean? Which Game of Thrones character would defeat you in battle, based on your zodiac sign? You know, assuming that the Night King didn’t kill off you at the beginning of The Long Night.
Perhaps you’re already familiar with which zodiac signs you’re least compatible with in the real, non-Game of Thrones world. Aries don’t get along with other Aries. Taurus and Leo tend to butt heads. Perhaps you’re even familiar with the zodiac sign that’s your mortal enemy at least astrologically speaking. You’ve likely already perused the list your biggest weakness, based on your zodiac sign as well. So, you know your strengths when it comes to strategy. This is all to say you know your sign in the real world. So, let’s take it to Westeros.
You don’t have to do more than a quick Google search to find our the astrological breakdown of Game of Thrones characters. Some people think Sansa’s a Gemini. Other’s read her more as a LIbra. Everyone’s pretty convinced that Dany is an Aries.
Using all that information (and a little supposing, Three-eyed Raven-style), here is who would likely cause your demise in Game of Thrones.
Be warned: this post is dark and full of SPOILERS.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Tyrion Lannister
The hard-headed Taurus isn’t really a fan of other stubborn signs, like Leos. Tyrion, in classic Leo form, doesn’t shy away from attention or conflict. “If it is perceived that another person is unwilling to budge or accept a viewpoint different from [a Taurus’] own, conflict or a distinct misliking may occur,” Linda Furiate, a professional astrologer, previously told Romper.
How you’d die: Tyrion would kill you at the height of his season 4 revenge rampage.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Sansa Stark
Representative of the dual personalities, Geminis aren’t big fans of other Geminis. Sansa, season 8 Sansa in particular, is proving herself to have some big Gemini energy.
How you’d die: Sansa would probably feed you to the hounds, Ramsay style.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Jaime Lannister
Cancers feel their emotions real deep. This gets on the nerve of signs like Leo and Sagittarius. Though some may argue we’ve seen emotional growth from Jaime in later seasons, the King Slayer certainly has a contentious history when other people's feelings get in his way.
How you’d die: Jaime Lannister would push you out a window.
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22): Lord Varys
Lord Varys is a sly and interesting character. Is he betraying Westeros? Is he trying to save it? Regardless, he’d find a way to off a hard-headed sign who got in the way of what he thought was right. You, a hard-headed Leo, would unfortunately be that person.
How you’d die: Honestly, I have no idea how Varys would kill someone, but he’d definitely say something emotionally devastating as he did it.
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Jon Snow
Virgos are known for their meticulous planning, something that Jon Snow’s emotionally spontaneous self might not be a fan of. Especially if that plan hurt the people he’s related to or romantically involved with or, ya know, both.
How you’d die: He’d Valyrian Steel the sh*t out of you.
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): Brienne of Tarth
Libras and Virgos don’t always get along, and Brienne is a Virgo if I’ve ever seen one. Perhaps your visions for Westeros would not align or she wouldn’t understand your appreciation for the finer things in life, material and otherwise.
How you’d die: She’d come in on a horse and sword you to death, per her newly knighted status.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): The Hound
Scorpios and manipulation go hand in hand, especially when it comes to spotting a fellow manipulator. Season 8 Sansa is on her manipulation game, if her interaction with The Hound last episode is any indication. If you had any intention of coming for the throne, or ruining her potential plans to claim the throne, she’d sense that.
How you’d die: Sansa would sic The Hound on you.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Cersei Lannister
As a Sagittarius, you like to feel free both literally and metaphorically. Freedom is not exactly the rallying cry of one Cersei Lannister. Her need to control would sniff out your free spirit ASAP.
How you’d die: Cersei would blow you up in a green fury.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Drogon
Capricorn and Aries aren’t known for their compatibility. Dany, a fire sign embodied, would make you her enemy. Drogon had a hard episode four last Sunday with the dragon formerly known as Viserion taking swings at him. However, Dany’s dragon baby is still fighting.
How you’d die: One word: “Dracarys.”
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Arya Stark
Aquarius is independence personified. While known for being a humanitarian, Aquarius can also be an analytical, lone wolf. Were that lone wolf to ever cross Arya...well, we all saw what happened to the Night King.
How you’d die: Needle, my guy.
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20) The Mountain
The free-spirit of a Pisces would not go over well with Cersei Lannister, as we’ve already established. However, she’d get someone else to do her bidding. Enter: The Hound.
How you’d die: The Mountain, summoned by Cersei, would squeeze your eyes out of your head.
Aries (March 21 - April 19): Daenerys Targaryen
Fire signs, baby. Known for being determined, brave, and passionate, Aries don’t tend to get along with other Aries. Aries also have a tendency toward being temperamental and impatient which is Dany in a fiery nutshell.
How you’d die: She cut off your head as vengeance for Missandei.
