What Singles Are Secretly Dying To Know About Someone On A First Date

by Sarah Fielding

A first date is exciting and scary, all at once. Most often you are going out with a person who you barely know, if at all. The first date is casual, a "do I like spending time with this person" interaction. Finding the balance of what to ask on a first date can be tricky: Too impersonal and they might think you're uninterested, too personal and you can seem invasive. What singles really want to ask on a first date, is rarely what's actually said.

Online dating site, PlentyOfFish decided to explore this in it's Conversation Nation survey. The site asked over 2,000 American singles, aged 18 and over, different questions surrounding conversation with potential partners. While the most surprising statistic might be the fact that 90 percent of those surveyed stated that they'd rather talk all night after a first date than have sex, what singles really want to know about their dates was also incredibly interesting.

"During the Watergate scandal, 14 percent of Americans said that they would be unhappy if a person from the opposite political party married into their family. A couple decades later it was about 40 something percent and right now its over 80 percent," Celeste Headlee, conversation expert and author, tells Bustle. "So the fact that most people said that family values is one of their big things, that's surprising to me because I would've thought it would be political."

I too would've assumed political choices would've made the list. The actual choices are also timely and cover all aspects of life. Read on for the top five things singles want to ask about on a date.


Family History

Encompassing everything from childhood to someone's parents' marital status, family history was the number one thing those surveyed wish they could ask about on a first date, with 16 percent of people choosing it.


Faith And Religion

While the amount of religious Americans is dropping, 13 percent of participants want to ask about faith and religion on a first date. Looked at from the other side, for some this might be to ensure their partner isn't religious.


Turn Ons & Turn Offs

On the sexier side of things, 13 percent of respondents were curious to know what their date's turn-ons and turn-offs were. I can definitely see people being afraid to mention this on a first date but understand the curiosity.


If Someone Has Ever Cheated

"I put this on the survey because it was my number one. So I thought it was going to be more important, so surprising," Shannon Smith Manager, Communications and Public Relations, tells Bustle. With only 13 percent of individuals surveyed, it does seem like a very low amount wanting to know if their date has been unfaithful in the past.


Views On Marriage

With Millennials being a large part of the surveyed group, it's not shocking that only 11 percent of participants wanted to ask about views on marriage during a first date. Millennials are getting married later or not at all, so marriage isn't as important a topic early on in a relationship.

If something is a true dealbreaker to you, bringing it up on the first date might be necessary. However, if it's just a matter of curiosity, consider waiting it out a little until you are more comfortable with the person. The most important part of a first date is to be yourself, plus maybe being open to talking all night.

Check out the “Sex & Relationships” stream in the Bustle App for tips, tricks, and advice on friends, sex, dating, and everything in-between.