When it comes to sexual pleasure, women's pleasure is often left out of the education, the narrative, and therefore the everyday sex happening across the world. (If you listen closely, you can probably hear a woman faking it nearby.) In order to change that, Bustle's sex and relationships editor, Iman Hariri-Kia, sat down with sex, love, and life coach Shelby Sells to talk about pleasure mapping and learning to receive.
Where should we start?
"I really like you and I'd like to make our connection better" is a great place to start. Words of affirmation and open, honest conversations (not lectures) are key.
We're both interested, now what?
Get your bodies in sync now that you're on the same page. Try making intimate eye contact for at least three minutes or cuddle and harmonize your breath.
OK, but isn't this about sex?
Once you're emotionally and physically connected, take your time to explore one person's body at a time. Maybe you take a whole night to explore one partner and another night for the other. Go slow, and allow for pleasure outside of just orgasms.
Great, that's it?
Just remember that people and their bodies are constantly changing. It's important to continue to check in and communicate what you want.
Host: Iman Hariri-Kia
Expert: Shelby Sells
Executive Creative Director: Lauren Sofair
Executive Producer: Whitney Buxton
Producer: Lauren Tegtmeyer
Director of Photography: Marshall Stief
Camera Operator: Jasmine Velez
Design Director: Andenew Ayele
Motion Designer: Jeff Donlan
Editor: Charlotte Carpenter, Nolan Thomas