No Shame Sex Ed

Your Anal Sex Questions, Answered

Sh*t happens.

by Lauren Tegtmeyer
A woman in a black, grey, and blue sweater vest and a white shirt

Anal sex carries a lot of shame and we feel very strongly that it’s time to rid it of its stigma. So we asked a sex educator every little question, from the best meal to eat before butt play to explicit directions to the prostate.

So lock your prejudice in a box and take a few minutes to introduce yourself to the options for anal play (you don’t have to jump straight to penetration!), how to prepare your mind and your body, and how to make your first time (and every time) exploring your and/or your partner’s butt a shameless, clean, and pleasurable experience.

How can I make sure poop doesn't come into play?

As they say, sh*t happens... and all sex is a little messy. But you can eat food that will give you a healthy and clean bowel movement about an hour beforehand. Sex educator Courtney suggests a kale salad and avoiding foods that don't agree with you.

So you're saying I don't need to douche?

Exactly. Douching doesn't do anything your body can't do. If you really feel the need to clean yourself out beforehand, just make sure to use water — and not "specialized" cleaners.

I'm worried that it will hurt.

If you're interested in anal play but scared of pain or penetration, start slow! Play around the outside, and use graduated toys (with bases!) or fingers to start.

I need lube, right?

Yes, you definitely need lube. The butthole is not self-lubricating. Water-based lube is your best friend as you don't want to use oil-based lube with condoms or silicone-based lube with silicone toys.

Can I incorporate this into other sex?

Yes! Unlike in the movies, anal sex doesn't need to be relegated to a special night or occasion. But remember that if you're switching to vaginal sex, you'll want to clean any toys or appendages that have been in (or around) the butt.

This still doesn't sound like something I'm into...

Then stick to the rivers and lakes that you're used to!

No Shame Sex Ed is an inclusive, sex-positive series that talks to the experts in order to give you real ways to explore and improve your sexual experiences.

Host: Iman Hariri-Kia

Expert: Courtney Kist

Executive Creative Director: Lauren Sofair

Executive Producer: Whitney Buxton

Producer: Lauren Tegtmeyer

Director of Photography: Marshall Stief

Design Director: Andenew Ayele

Motion Designer: Jeff Donlan

Editor: Nolan Thomas