Is Artisanal Firewood The Next Big Thing?

Would you fork over a grand for a bundle of firewood? No? But what if it was the handcrafted, ~locally sourced~ firewood featured in This Is That's new video, "Maker Series: Artisanal Firewood?"

Still no? That's probably for the best, considering it doesn't actually exist. On the other hand, let's face it: None of us would actually be surprised if artisanal firewood were a thing. Between Brooklyn's handcrafted mayonnaise, Belfast's luxury water, and D.C.'s artisanal ice cubes, it's hard to tell the difference between reality and parody anymore. Hipster society is akin to living in an M. Night Shyamalan film — what's real? What's not? Is that lady a ghost, or is she just dressed like one out of an inexplicable urge to adopt the Victorian lifestyle? Has Bruce Willis been dead this whole time?

But I digress. CBC's This Is That captures the absurdity of the artisanal craft craze with a video profiling the (fake) Vancouver handcrafted firewood company, Smoke & Flame. Between the folksy Americana music, Ron Swanson-like business owner, and the variety of truly impressive beards on display, the parody is totally believable, and oddly soothing to boot. What can I say? There's something about watching people chop wood that makes me want to take a nap while, like, communing with nature.

Smoke & Flame is America's only "premium, handcrafted firewood manufacturer," probably because the demand is pretty small for that particular product. But if you, too, are increasingly disappointed in the lack of high-quality firewood for the discerning consumer, Smoke & Flame is right up your alley.

"Each piece of firewood is unique. It has its own personality. It tells a story, which is something we definitely want to respect," Smoke & Flame's owner, Jesse Horn, explains as soft guitar strumming plays over shots of him carefully inspecting tiny pieces of wood. He later explains that he incorporates "old world" techniques with "new and modern technology."

"Working with Jesse... He's an artist," exclaims his equally bearded, bespectacled apprentice. From the ever-so-hipster adoration of old-school ways of living to the obsession with "quality" products over the perceived mass-production of the modern day, the video is a true masterpiece of hipsterdom.

The best part? Their firewood only goes for $1,000. What a bargain.

Check out the video below:

Images: CBC/YouTube (3)