Kristen & James Sort Of Make Up On 'Pump Rules'

Not unlike a turtle at a dive bar racetrack, Monday night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules crawled right into my heart. *Sigh* just like it does every week. The ep really did have it all: there was a court appearance, a Charles McMansion music video shoot, a revocation of an engagement party invitation, a reptile footrace, a driving range heart-to-heart, a miniature horse chase— the list goes on! The most stunning moment? That would superlative would have to go to the quasi-reconciliation of ex-couple James and Kristen. At the top of the hour, the two met up for a dinner and said their respective pieces. And that was that.

...OR SO WE THOUGHT. Later, Kristen told Stassi that she made out with James. James told Lala that he made out with and slept with Kristen. Or, as James so eloquently put it, they “boned” on the hood of the Beemer. Well, then!

If I’ve taken away anything from the last two seasons of this great series, it is that the pairing of James and Kristen is as messy as Scheana's fake eyelashes are long. Tremendously cruel insults have been hurled, jobs have been lost, faces have been slapped, friendships have been ended, doors have been spit on, significant others have been cheated on. Lala, unsurprisingly, was not exactly supportive of her friend hooking up with this particular ex. She remarked that, as far as James's personal and professional problems are concerned, Kristen is the "common denominator."

And then, because this show cannot stop taking its brilliance up notch after notch, the camera cut to Lala’s dog.

The look on this sweet pooch's face really speaks volumes, doesn't it?

Image: Bravo