9 Weirdest Signs Someone Will Be Good In Bed

It’s almost impossible to tell if someone will be good in bed just by looking at them. There aren’t any tried-and-true giveaways, like a certain type of haircut or a specific style — and sometimes it’s even the people who seem cool on the surface who end up letting you down the most during sex.

That’s why if you’re ever on a first date and trying to get a read on a potential hookup, you might want to keep an eye out for some of the sneakier signs someone’s good in the sack. According to Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, one of the first things to look for is how they carry themselves.

“Confident people make great lovers,” she tells Bustle. “Think about it: Someone who’s shy and lacking in confidence is going to be nervous about taking risks in the bedroom or just being in the moment.” While a shy person may open up eventually, it’s the date who seems relaxed and self-assured who’s most likely to rock your world.

Another giveaway is a fun-loving personality. Are they laughing? Cracking jokes? Do they find your humor irresistible? Consider it a good omen. “People who love to have fun are going to have fun in the bedroom, and that means so are you,” she says.

With those basics out of the way, here are some of the weirder signs someone will be good in bed, according to dating experts.

1. They’re Not Afraid Of Eye Contact

If someone has flirty eye contact, consider yourself in good hands. Think sexy glances, smoldering stares, or a confident gaze that makes you go weak in the knees. (Bonus points if they glance down at your lips, a clue they might be trying the TikTok-viral “triangle method.”) Their inability to look away is a surefire sign they’ll give you the same amazing attention in bed.

“Someone who locks eyes with you and never drops their gaze is communicating in a hot and steamy manner,” says Trombetti. Chances are they’ll carry that sexy energy all the way into the bedroom where they’ll proceed to make the night all about you.

2. They’re An Amazing Dancer

Is your date a good dancer? Are they tossing you to and fro? Do they jump up when the DJ plays their favorite song? If so, brace yourself for a good time. “Someone who’s a great dancer not only has the moves on the dance floor but also in bed,” says Trombetti. It means they aren’t afraid to move their body, let loose, and have fun.

Even someone who pays attention to the music at the bar or taps their fingers along to the beat could be what you’re looking for. “People who seem to be having rhythm and soul — for example, those who aren’t afraid to groove to that music playing when you sit and have a glass of wine — are often fun to make love with,” adds Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist. Keep an eye out for rhythm.

3. They’re A Total Foodie

Take note if your date is really getting into dinner and dessert — and not just because they’re hungry. Are they commenting on the brightness of the salad? The expert way the bartender poured their drink? Or the amazing dipping sauce that came with your fries? If so, you might be in luck. “It means they love a good experience, and they will savor sex with you and not rush it in the bedroom,” says Trombetti.

4. They’re Curious About Your Life

It’s usually abundantly clear when someone is just looking for a quick hookup. While that can be fun at times, if you want someone to truly rock your world in bed you’ll want to invest in the people who invest in you.

Your crush might be good in bed if they take an interest in the deeper aspects of your personality. Are they asking about your hopes and dreams? Do they want to know what you studied in college and why? According to Trombetti, these are all good signs they’ll be just as interested in what you want and like in the bedroom.

Open and fun conversation also paves the way for good communication in bed. Their openness to talk and learn about you means they’ll be just as tuned in while you hook up. “They will be curious about what you like and what turns you on, which translates to great sex,” she says.

5. They Have A Lot Of Books

Thank legendary filmmaker, John Waters, for this important point: “If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't f*ck them.” What does that mean exactly? People who love to read yearn to explore other worlds, get lost in other dimensions, continue to learn, and grow as human beings. If you go to their apartment and immediately spy a bookshelf or a pile of well-worn novels, it’s a good sign.

6. They’re Spontaneous

Take note if your crush likes to have fun, especially if their adventures are spur-of-the-moment. According to Roos, “Spontaneous people who are always up to join in on your weird or last-minute plans tend to be more open to trying new, fun stuff in bed, too, and they also tend to have a more curious and playful attitude towards being intimate in the bedsheets.” Are they excited to join you on a random outing? Do they love to hear stories of your weird and wonderful travels? Are they whisking you on an adventure to an underground speakeasy? Then chances are they’ll be a great time in bed.

7. They Can Laugh At Themselves

While some people might get embarrassed or angry if they trip on the sidewalk or spill their drink in the restaurant, you want to keep an eye out for folks who immediately laugh it off like it’s no big deal. Even if they do feel shy for a second, it’s a good sign if they have a light sense of humor about mishaps.

According to Roos, this is a sign they’ll be giving in bed and not embarrassed to try new things — if that’s what you want to do. “They will also be caring about your pleasure in a charming way that makes you feel relaxed,” she says. In other words? Nothing is sexier than someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously.

8. They Have A Passion Project

If you’re looking for someone who will be passionate in the bedroom, then look for someone passionate in everyday life. If your date has a long list of things they care about, it often means they have passion in other areas of life. Wink wink.

Can they talk at length about grassroots social movements? A hobby they’ve loved for ages? Movies? Cooking? “If someone goes all-in when they’re doing something [...] then it’s a sign that they’ll take sex and intimacy seriously, too,” says Roos. “They will put a lot of their emotions and soul into making love.”

9. They’re Extra Attentive On The Date

Take note if your date passes you the salt, notices when your drink is running low, or picks up on a subtle facial movement and immediately reads it accurately, like when you’re bored at the bar and want to go somewhere new. “This is a person who is going to be just as attentive in bed and miss no detail,” says Trombetti. If they’re 10 steps ahead on your date, chances are they’ll be 10 steps ahead in bed.

Sources:

Susan Trombetti, matchmaker, CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking

Sofie Roos, licensed sexologist, relationship therapist

Additional reporting by Amanda Chatel