Life

You Know You Went To Boston College If . . .

by Caitlin White
Adam Hunger/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

The Boston College campus in the lovely Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts, is undergoing a lot of changes — $800 million worth — to be exact. The Dustbowl has been taken over by Stokes Hall, and BC is promising (again!) to tear down the beloved Mods and build new undergraduate housing. But Boston College students are resourceful; we'll find new green space to read and play Frisbee on and new "it" dorms to party in.

Because we Boston College students are wicked smart. And while we don't often date (at least according to the countless seminars on campus about it), when we do, we take our dates to White Mountain Creamery across the street. We're also hyper involved on campus and in the community, whether we're volunteering countless hours a week for the independent student newspaper The Heights , singing in an a capella group like the Acoustics or the BC Sharps, doing improv for My Mother's Fleabag, or playing in the countless intramural sports. You hardly ever meet anyone on campus who isn't busy volunteering for something.

It's a work hard, play hard kind of place. If you went to BC — or are lucky enough to be there now — you know what I'm talking about. There are some things only we can truly understand.

At lunchtime, you still crave a New England classic from Hillside

The key is the thinly sliced Granny Smith apple. It'll get you every time. Not that you'll ever find a table.

You have an undying loyalty to either Newton or Upper Campus

If you lived on Newton, you've run down Linden Lane to catch the bus, and you know how ridiculous the 2 a.m. bus to Newton is. But you'll never know what a triple is like. As for my own allegiance: Ride (the bus) or die! Go Newton!

You hate Mary Ann's, but OK, fine, you'll go. Of course you'll go.

All the best bars have painted-over windows, floors your flip flops stick to when you walk, and bathroom stalls so small you have to curl up in the fetal position to use them. But hey, there's cheap beer.

You've checked yourself out in the big windows when you walked past Robsham Theater

What are you supposed to do, not look?

If you're a girl, you're wearing leggings, boots, and a Northface

and If you're a guy, it's a button-down and a Northface

Unless you're an athlete, then it's sweatpants 24/7.

Your best weekends were hockey Friday nights combined with football Saturday mornings

You never had to change your outfit! Absolutely anything to avoid coin-op laundry. Fewer stares when you're out all night.

You know the shame of living on CoRo sophomore year

Oh College Road. While your friends are living it up in suites in 90 or Vanderslice, it's like you're a freshman all over again. It's even worse than the eerie 66.

and the housing lottery has broken up a friendship or two

I repeat: No one wants CoRo. Sophmore year, my seven friends and I scored the first pick in the draft and got the 6th floor of Vanderslice as freshmen. Some people stopped talking to us for weeks.

your junior year was spent in Cleveland Circle

You or your friends lived on Strathmore, Sutherland, or Orkney. You ate at Pino's, Eagle's Deli, and Cityside. You argued over Boloco vs. Chipotle. And it was all worth temping fate at the Cleveland Circle of Death intersection.

Beans Creams and Dreams remains a lifelong mystery

More like Beans, Creams, and Shattered Dreams, am I right? No wonder it was overrun by meatball enthusiasts.

If you're not going to Late Night for chicken fingers, you're swinging by Che-Chi's on your way home

Parks right at St. Ignatius Gate, fulfilling all college kids' dreams.

You suffered through everyone talking about their new best friends forever from "Appa"

And you know all the best ways to dodge the service trip people on campus asking for donations. Hello? The meal plan people took all my money.

You heart Jesuits, or at least feel compelled to say you do

Meanwhile, non-religious students are looking up exactly what Jesuits are.

You know that it sucks to BU

And that's all there is to say about that.

you also know to avoid the B Line, even though it's the closest T stop

I'm pretty sure the B line is the slow train straight to hell.

A piece of your heart died when An Tua Nua closed

BC kids can no longer stuff all their friends in a cab for the $12 ride down to Kenmore. RIP, Thursday dollar drafts and sweaty dance parties in the back room. RIP. (Also: That's what it looks like in the light of day?)

You've slipped and fallen on O'Neill Plaza while wearing flip flops in the rain

Could you splurge for some railings, Boston College?

You've run the 'Res,' but never at night

Chestnut Hill Reservoir: Gorgeous piece of paradise by day; drug-dealing, crazy people, nightmare by night.

and You've registered for classes in whatever operating system came before DOS

Maybe some of the gardening and flower budget can go toward updating this.

You know there's no better college football quarterback than Doug Flutie

True story, back when I was a freshman, Doug Flutie left a recorded message on all our landline dorm room phones reminding us to register for classes. Screw Rudy, we've got Flutie.

and You had a crush on someone in one of the many a capella groups

Look, I was 19, OK?

You have seriously honed Beirut skills

House rules were sacred. And yes, it's Beirut, not beer pong.

Springtime will always = The Mods are back

They're standalone dorms with backyards, and it is so, so glorious to see the grass again after a long winter. One day, when the university finally makes good on tearing them down, hundreds of thousands of people will pour out their Busch Lights in honor.

You avoided the million dollar stairs by taking the elevator near Hillside

But if you do make the trek up the million dollar stairs, you have to stop to take a breather before you walk into your class panting.

You know they're never getting air conditioning in the Plex

Don't be silly, only the athletes get A/C.

You've been shushed while studying in Bapst during finals

I just need to open this bag of chips, OK?

and You've been late because you got lost along Campanella Way

Now called Maloney Hall; still as confusing.

You've been tossed up (or done the tossing) after an Eagles touchdown at Alumni Stadium

1-2-3-4-5-6-7 ... WE. WANT. MOOOOOORE!

and You know Marathon Monday is the greatest holiday the universe ever created

It's pretty much the only time non-athletes are up bright and early. And because Boston College is located right after Heartbreak Hill, you have the distinct pleasure of telling the runners that it's literally all downhill from here.

You thought your Superfan shirt slogan was the best one

But if you had the Class of 2013 one, you were wrong. The correct answer has always been "Eagles on the Warpath," and you know it. (Ooh, ahh.)

if you've graduated, You stayed up all night to watch the sunrise atop the Beacon Street parking garage . . .

. . . and subsequently slept behind sunglasses at commencement.

It's the most fitting tribute to your time at BC; you're basking in the sunshine, you're tired, you're happy, and you might be a little hungover.

and most of all, no matter what, you're damn happy to be an eagle on the warpath