In Other News: August 7, 2013

'In Other News' is Bustle's daily roundup of the stories, videos, and more media you might have missed.

A British prosecutor has been suspended for attacking a sex-abuse survivor in court. Robert Colover reportedly referred to a 13-year-old girl as a "sexual predator" and "sexually experienced" while defending his client, 41, for having sex with her. Somehow, the judge agreed to a suspended sentence for defendant Neil Wilson, agreeing with Colover that the girl "egged you on."

The Anthony Weiner saga continues. This time, Weiner called one of his opponents "Grandpa," which might have amused the crowd if the event hadn't been run by the AARP. As in, the American Association of Retired Persons.

Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli has a kinda creepy preoccupation with outlawing both oral and anal sex. But how far can he go?

Apple has rejected the smartphone game Send Me To Heaven, which awards points determined by how high users throw their phone in the air. Good news for Android users: you can still go all Naomi Campbell with the app, available on the Google Play store.

And speaking of Android and Apple, they may not have to fight quite so dramatically anymore. New figures show that while Google is still beating Apple in the smartphone market, both companies are selling huge amounts of phones. The loser is every other smartphone brand, or non-smartphones, which are apparently still a thing.

If you've always had a soft spot for Monet, you can head over to Amazon, where one of his paintings is going for $1.5 million. Christie's must be shaking in their boots...

Twitter users in the United Kingdom are seeing a "Report Abuse" button for each Tweet, ready and waiting for the pressing. Are we next?

It's been a big day for new social-media features — Facebook's rolled out both the Graph Search feature for its American users (you can see our graph search guide here) and Trending Topics, à la Twitter.

And even though everybody and her mother is on social media, almost three-quarters of Fortune 500 CEOs are not.

This guy skydived from inside a locked coffin. You can see how that worked out for him (hint: we would not show you videos of anything crashing to their death):

Is the answer to bigger and better transport building more buses? Nope— apparently it's faster and more improved trains!

Yahoo is updating its logo, and will be playing with one new logo per day for the next month.

This guy saw a thief robbing him of his Amazon package, and you can see exactly what happened next:

Is this account of a missed connection on the subway the most melancholy account of lost love ever? (Who needs Robert Frost or Love Actually, amIright?)

Finally, here is a bear trying out a jet-ski for size. You're welcome.