Entertainment

What Can Donny Buy with his $10,000?

by Ariel Kay

It seems pretty obvious that Donny Thompson is everyone's favorite Big Brother houseguest, which is why he was such a shoe-in for Team America. He's displayed the perfect mix of down-home folksiness and wily gameplay, making him an instant favorite. Plus, he's using his natural kindness as a strategy and it's actually working. Ruthlessness can be fun to watch, but in the end I'm going to root for the good guy every time. Especially when the good guy says things like, "When ya stretch, it ever make ya bust a bean?" or this fantastic pun: "There was this, uh, prostitute. She never done her trade for money, she only done it for spaghetti, so they call her a pastatute." And let's not forget that luxurious beard. Who could resist?

For once, America got it 100 percent right and put Donny on Team America, which is currently batting 1000, having fulfilled both of their missions and scored $10,000 a piece. I'm not always a fan of Big Brother's forced alliances, but I could watch Frankie Grande, Derrick Levasseur, and Donny interact all day long. These guys are probably the three most different people in the house, but their conversations are golden.

$10,000 is a lot of money, especially for someone from Albemarle, North Carolina with a modest background. The median income in Donny's hometown is just above $30,000 per household, about $15,000 below the median income for the state. So even though he's still a long way off from winning Big Brother's $500,000 prize, Donny's doing pretty well for himself.

Now that our favorite groundskeeper is rolling in it, how should Donny spend his hard-earned cash? I have a few suggestions.

A rock for his lady

Solomon Brother's Michael B Princess Collection Engagement Ring: $10,000

Donny and his girlfriend Kristine Bartley are basically the Bey and J of Albemarle, and they should have all the finery befitting of that status. I'm not saying they've got to get married pronto, I just want them to have everything they've ever wanted. They're beyond adorable.

Two rideable lawn mowers

The Toro MX5060 50" 23HP Zero Turn Lawn Mower: $3,999.99

When Donny gets back home, he won't be the Donny of old. He's a TV star now, and he needs a fancy ride to go with his new lifestyle. But Donny's a humble dude. He seems to really enjoy his work as a public school groundskeeper, and he'll probably stay at his job, even if he wins big. With his $10,000, he can buy two top-of-the-line rideable mowers, and zip around town in style.

285 hours of studio recording time

One hour of recording time at Underground Sound Recording Studio: $35

Early on in the game, Donny started showing off his talent for bird calls, cricket noises, and other sounds typically exhibited by woodland creatures. It's a rare gift, and one he should not squander. Donny needs to capitalize on his fame quickly, and what better way than to go the route of so many other reality stars, and record an album? Underground Sound Recording Studio is a quick one-hour drive from Ablemarle, and their rates are quite reasonable.

555 Scrabble sets

One Scrabble set: $17.99. Dog not included.

Despite being the oldest player in the house, Donny is proving to be a tough competitor. He's won the POV twice now— both times against a bigger, stronger houseguest. First he took himself off the block by spelling the longest word, and then he assured Devin Shepherd's removal by rolling a gigantic die into its correct position first. S-P-L-I-T-T-E-R-S is worth 13 points in Scrabble, and for our boy it was enough to keep him in the house for another week. Donny should commemorate his achievements and buy a few sets — or 550 — for himself.

Enough camouflage to last a lifetime

Donny's love of camo cannot be numerically qualified

And he's got enough money now to wear exactly what he pleases.

Images: CBS; fr4dd, Clay Junell/Flickr; Stockingblue