Life

Vagina Cupcake Wielding Mom Loses It

by Rebecca Jane Stokes

Have you heard the one about the teacher who was threatened with domestic violence for refusing to allow cupcakes made to look like vaginas into her classroom of second graders? That's...that's pretty much it. The story is the punchline.

A vagina-proud parent (word) brought in cupcakes for the class made to resemble vaginas. The teacher was all, "Uh, the other parents will kill me probably? Also I will lose my job?" That's when the vagina-proud parent lost her ever-loving mind (not word).

Look, vaginas are awesome. Things go into them, things come out of them. They can be funny, they can be complex, they can be sexy, they can be scientific. They can also, according to this second grader's mom, be cupcakes. Fine. Cool. Totally. I'm not arguing that vaginas AREN'T edible (oral sex joke, dig it), but there's no doubt that this particular display of vaginal confection was bound to ruffle some more conservative feathers.

I can only imagine what my mom would have said if in second grade I'd come home and been all, "Mom, today I ate THREE vaginas." I actually don't have to imagine. Now that I've given it thought one thing is clear: She would have died, come back to life to wreak terrible vengeance, and then died again. This is all by way of saying that OF COURSE the teacher was going to be like "thanks but no thanks" where these splendid treats are involved.

Everybody should be comfortable with their body, and every child should be educated about it, sure. I get that. But this would-be cool mom in question should have gracefully bowed out, not gone away to bitterly send an email ripping the teacher apart. Also, just sayin', if your whole defense of your cupcakes is "feminism", maybe don't belittle the woman for taking on a the role of teacher and then hope she gets beaten by her husband? Because yeah.

And for your viewing pleasure, just to take the edge off reading one woman wish domestic violence upon another, this:

Images: Imgur(3)