The Hipster Business Name Generator is a marketing tool from web domain sellers DomainCheap.com. So let's just be upfront about that: this is an advertising tool for them. But it's a really good one, which is why I'm playing their little game and telling you about it (and also why I've been compulsively playing it myself). Normally, even the most clever ad simply conspires to make me shake my fist at the proverbial heavens. That said, this one had me clicking away for a good ten minutes. It also seriously had me considering giving up my life of resplendent wealth as a freelance writer (*pause here for laughter*) and finally starting my heirloom vegetable market slash reproductive rights library, Tomato + Withdrawal.
The gimmick is a fun one: Go to the site, and two random nouns are paired together, along with some minimalistic design elements, and bang—you've got your very own, instant, hipster-tastic business name! Like the name? It's an easy click to go and buy the domain. Not sure that leaving corporate law and starting a pickle nursery (not a real thing) is for you but enjoying the fun of the redonkulous names as they emerge? Keep clicking for more fun combos. I would be lying totally if I didn't say I've already considered more than one of the "joke" names with which I was gifted to be a legit option for a viable business enterprise.
Admittedly, I do live in Brooklyn, and have more than one friend strike out on their own to make it big in the world of small businesses. So it wouldn't be entirely strange for me to try it. That said, if I'm going to take the plunge into the world of men with beards longer than my head-hair and women who make wearing linen and matte red lipstick all day every day seem laid-back and cool, I can't in good conscious allow the deciding factor for such a life to be what essentially amounts to a modern day Don Draper's mode of monetizing hipster culture. FIGHT THE POWER, BROOKLYN! KALE CHIPS FOR EVERYONE! QUUUUINNNNOOOOOA!
Image: Hipster Business Name Generator (2)