Fashion

The Most Ridiculous Accessories of 2014

by Tyler Atwood

Every now and then a bit of frivolity is necessary, especially when it comes to one's manner of dress. Looking back, 2014 was The Year Of The Frivolous Accessory. Clutches were downsized to such a degree that a tube of lipstick and a cell phone were barely compatible; key chains came back into vogue for the first time since the '90s (with minimum price tags of $200); and the fashion industry unleashed an entirely unexpected obsession with fast food-themed items on the world. Indeed, design went down the rabbit hole in 2014 and produced some bewilderingly gratuitous wares.

However, fashion is an art form and therefore necessitates some level of eccentricity, even when that eccentricity appears in the form of a Fendi key chain shaped like a wooly Karl Lagerfeld. After all, a $70 sticker shaped like a sunny side up egg may not be the most utilitarian of items, but if it brings a smile to your face, the absurdity and cost may well be worth it. Read on for 2014's most incredibly unnecessary accessories, and hope that 2015 will be an ever-so-slightly more fashionably functional annum.

1. Francis Kurkdjian's Perfumed Wallets

If you've ever withdrawn your wallet from your purse and bemoaned its wretched lack of scent, you need to take a beat and refocus your priorities. Nevertheless, scent maestro Francis Kurkdjian has partnered with Atelier Renard to engineer an amber-scented leather wallet for €525 You could also pay a month of rent or snap up a pair of Louboutins with the same sum, but perfumed leather is a valid choice if you have nothing else on your wish list.

2. Fendi Buggies

As if the return of keychains weren't tragic enough, Fendi debuted Bag Bugs, minuscule adornments crafted in fox fur and leather with scowling faces to affix to your tote. Never mind that $700 would also purchase an actual leather bag instead of a keychain to affix to it.

3. Moschino's French Fries iPhone Case

Sylphlike models displaying fast food-themed accessories when each had likely not spent the past decade within a mile of a hamburger is ironic in itself, but Moschino's French Fries iPhone Case took anti-utilitarianism to an entirely new stratum.

4. Anya Hindmarch's Leather Egg Sticker

If your Birkin or Celine Nano was too drab for your taste in 2014, Anya Hindmarch's selection of pebbled leather stickers offered an innovative, if unnecessary, solution.

5. Karl Lagerfeld For Shu Uemura's Shupette False Eyelash

Karl Lagerfeld's feline companion Choupette is one lucky cat, if the designer's pet-inspired line for Shu Uemera is any indication. Amongst the feline-flavored items is this pair of crystal and pink feather-embellished lashes. For $75, I certainly hope one receives an honest-to-goodness cat eye.

6. Chanel Milk Carton Minaudière

Chanel shocked fashionistas, bloggers, and health nuts by unveiling a supermarket for the label's Fall/Winter 2014 runway presentation, of which a patent leather milk carton minaudière was one particularly aesthetically challenging facet. However, for over $6,000 I would expect a tad more interior space — and perhaps a lifetime's supply of chocolate milk.

Images: Courtesy Brands