Entertainment

What Would Sandy Cohen Look Like With New 'Brows?

by Mary Grace Garis

Sandy Cohen, the rock that the kids of The O.C. leaned on, was known for three things. One, his tremendous love of bagels (really, a Cohen family trait). Two, his extraordinary willingness to help someone in need. And three, his eyebrows — bushy and proud, and "on fleek" long before the term even existed. The last of the list is obviously his most important trait, so what would happen if you replaced Sandy Cohen's iconic eyebrows with some other, also iconic 'brows?

Let me set the scene for you. With three of the core four out of Newport Beach and into the real world, there aren't a lot of people around to spout fatherly advice to. Of course, he has his law students hanging on his every word, and, every once in a while, he'll give 8-year-old Sophie advice about whether she should play with Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash. (Personally, he's more of an Applejack man.) Other than that, though, his life feels sort of boring without the kids at home to bring the drama. Maybe a fresh new look will cheer him up.

So here's what I think would happen if Sandy cited other people for some brow-spiration.

Cara Delevingne

Upon hearing that Sandy is going to do some eyebrow experimentation, Kirsten rolls her eyes but supportively gives him the address to her hairdresser. After some brainstorming, they decide to go for a slight change — a Cara Delevingne look with a golden base and only slight eyebrow waxage. It's not devastating, but honestly? Despite their casual bushiness, Sandy feels naked without his precious hair follicles. It's a nice change of pace, but he likes things a bit thicker. So he decides to go for a classic look.

Audrey Hepburn

One night, while Sandy's watching Charade, he notices Audrey Hepburn's iconic, childlike brows and decides he must have them. "Honestly, Kirsten, see how classically beautiful I look?" Sandy says in his thick Bronx accent. "That subtle tapering at the end really takes me to the next level." "Mhm," Kirsten responds, idly collecting cocktail recipes for her Pinterest board. Sandy's a big fan of these 'brows, but Kirsten seems a little too unenthusiastic, so it's back to the drawing board.

Burt from Sesame Street

Sandy decides to go with a unibrow, thinking that going au natural will be good for him. It backfires horribly, according to Kirsten's declaration at Seth and Summer's third year anniversary dinner: "You look like a Muppet," she says as gently as she can. Indeed, it looks like Sandy's letting a caterpillar live on his forehead, and he thinks he really needs to commit to something different.

Spock from Star Trek

Sandy tried to go for heavily arched and ended at heavily slanted. "I look wise, though, right?" He asks Kirsten before heading out the door to drop Sophie off at piano lessons. "Like a mentor that you know you can confide in?" Kirsten looks into his eyes, knowing that behind them is nothing but kindness. Then she looks at his eyebrows, which suggest nothing but bad life choices.

Groucho Marx

Truth be told, Sandy's forehead was getting cold with his lack of eyebrow strength. Like, wrapping-a-scarf-around-his-forehead cold. So he slapped on some Rogaine to regain his beautiful mane of brows, and ended up with a serious Groucho Marx situation. Not sure of his feelings, he asks Ryan for consult. "Do you think it's too much, Ryan? Maybe I should go full Groucho? Mustache, glasses? Do you have a cigar I can borrow?"

Ryan looks at Kirsten, and then he looks at Sandy, all earnest and cartoon-like. "Here's what we're going to do. We're going to go to a barber shop, we're going to get your eyebrows back to normal, and we're going to pick up some bagels. I owe you one anyway."

And that's exactly what they did.

Images: CW (1), CW/Mary Grace Garis (5)