Entertainment
In Honor Of 'Jackass: Bad Grandpa,' Take Our Quiz: 'Jackass' Stunt or Darwin Award Honoree?
The latest installment in Johnny Knoxville's Jackass series comes out Friday, but this one is a little different. Called Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, this sequel focuses on — you guessed it — Knoxville's grandpa character, Irving Zisman. I guess after multiple MTV shows and three movies, the Jackass crew was too recognizable to prank the public.
Bad Grandpa promises the ridiculous, disgusting, and, let's be honest, hilarious, gags and pranks that you'd expect from Knoxville, but there's no way it'll be as good as the others. Knoxville can only do so much on his own, let alone in a grandpa getup.
Lucky for us (but not them), the world is full of real life jackasses who do things just as crazy as the professionals — for free! Every year, the Darwin Awards rounds up the dumbest things that people do and awards them for, well, dying so that they don't pass on their stupidity to the next generation. That's a little too morbid for us, so we've found some of Darwin's honorable mentions — i.e. people who do stupid things but live to tell the tale — to compare to their on-screen jackass counterparts. Can you tell which of these stories happened to real Darwin honorees and which were Jackass stunts? Oh, and kids (or adults), remember: Don't try this at home.
(Warning: Some images ahead may be graphic, and not be for the faint of heart. There's a reason Jackass: The Movie was rated R.)
Image: dickhouseworld on Instagram
Shark Bait
Was it a professional or amateur jackass who took a fish hook to the cheek before going for a swim in shark-infested waters?
Image: kiwi shooter on Flickr
Steve-O, 'Jackass Number Two'
While plenty of everyday jackasses have probably gotten fish hooks stuck in various parts of their bodies, it was Steve-O who willingly stuck one through his cheek, before jumping overboard to swim with sharks.
Image: Paramount
Shark Kiss
Apparently, jackasses just love sharks. Was it an MTV star or regular guy who was bit on the lip by a nurse shark (like the one pictured) while trying to give it a kiss?
Image: Travis S. on Flickr
Unnamed, Darwin Award Honorable Mention
Surprised? Someone not being paid by MTV decided to kiss a nurse shark in 2006, just for fun. Apparently, it wasn't the first time either — this was just his first injury. The Florida resident was an experienced diver who liked to kiss sharks. As he said, "You pick 'em up, rub their belly, scratch 'em, hug 'em, might as well give them a smooch while you're there." Sure, what's the worst that could happen? Well, have your lip bit first by the shark, then by snappers, and then have it put back together by a plastic surgeon.
Image: Adrienne250 on Flickr
In the Lion's Den
What could've motivated someone to climb into a lion's cage at a zoo and not just yell at the animal, but actually pull its mane? Perhaps needing one last segment for a TV show?
Image: Richard Wintle on Flickr
Unnamed Polish Man, Darwin Award Honorable Mention
Nope! It was actually fear of being drafted that prompted a Polish man to provoke a lion in 2009. When men in Poland turn 18, they're examined by the medical commission to see if they're healthy enough to serve in the army, should only be used in wartime, need to be checked again in a year, or can never serve. When the honoree got scratched by his own cat, he thought of a plan to be injured enough to push off the exam by a year: Get scratched by a lion.
When he went to the Wroclaw zoo, yelling at the lion didn't do anything, so he pulled his mane. Unfortunately, the lion had a stronger reaction than the man anticipated, and bit his arm off. Instead of pushing off the exam by a year, he was deemed unable to serve for life. In real life, there aren't medical crews waiting to treat you if something goes wrong.
Image: rj-photo on Flickr
Where's the Baby?
Was it planned or just an accident when absentminded parents started to drive their car out of its parking spot with their baby securely strapped into its carseat... on the roof? It wasn't until a few concerned bystanders began chasing the car did the parent's realize that their baby wasn't in the car.
Image: supafly on Flickr
Johnny Knoxville, 'Jackass' TV Show
Luckily, the baby in question was a doll, and the whole thing was a Jackass prank to mess with random people. Back before Knoxville was recognizable, he was able to participate in these kinds of tricks. Watch the video from the original Jackass series here.
Keeping Fireworks Clean
To celebrate the fourth of July in 2008, two guys filled a washing machine with fireworks, lit them up, closed it and ran. Now the question is, who were the two men? Regular idiots or some of the Jackass gang.
Image: Roberto41144 on Flickr
Two Co-Workers, Darwin Award Honorable Mention
No cameras were present on Independence Day when the two men attempted to blow up a washing machine. First, when they lit the fireworks and shut the machine's lid, nothing happened. After 20 minutes, they opened the lid to see what went wrong — and the entire washing machine exploded.
Apparently, all the fireworks needed was some oxygen to send pieces of metal flying for 25 feet. The two men were extremely lucky and managed to only receive minor injuries.
Image: semuthutan on Flickr
Library Crashers
A few people were minding their own business, reading and working in a library, when all of a sudden two men crashed through the ceiling. So what exactly were they doing up there?
Image: SLU Madrid Campus on Flickr
Johnny Knoxville & Bam Margera, 'Jackass: The Movie'
Filming Jackass of course! Knoxville and Margera were dressed as burglars when they crashed through the ceiling of a library on purpose. The reaction of one startled man was funny enough to land this sketch in the first Jackass movie. Watch the clip here.
Image: Paramount
Lightsabers Without the Force
Anyone who's ever seen Star Wars has longed for their own lighsaber. They look cool, are customizable and they can do some serious damage. When two men decided to stage a real-life lightsaber battle, the fake, toy versions just didn't cut it. Instead, they used a dangerous combination of items. Jackasses or just really intense fanboys?
Image: Lucasfilm
Two Englishmen, Darwin Award Honorable Mention
This was no Jackass stunt: Two Star Wars fans just wanted an authentic lightsaber experience. They poured gasoline into two fluorescent light bulbs, lit the ends on fire, and prepared for battle. Then both bulbs exploded, obviously, but like true Jedi knights, they survived — presumably to make more bad decisions.
Image: russellstreet on Flickr
Poorly Placed Trampoline
Usually, you wouldn't think that those tiny, one-person trampolines are dangerous. They're so low to the ground — what's the worst that could happen? If you put it in the wrong spot indoors, you could excitedly jump on it only to crash into a ceiling fan. This happened to someone, but who told their story, MTV's cameras or the Darwin Awards?
Image: Fabulous Five on Flickr
Steve-O, 'Jackass: The Movie'
It almost seems like too small of a stunt for Jackass, but in the first movie, you can watch Steve-O purposely jump from a trampoline into a moving ceiling fan. And for some reason, I laugh every time I see it. See the stunt here.
Iceberg Hopscotch
Icebergs are dangerous things. They were pretty involved in the whole Titanic sinking-the-unsinkable thing, and caused two men to nearly freeze to death. Two friends were on a boat in a region with a lot of icebergs, and decided to hop from one to the other until they reached the shore — two miles away. After some success, they chose one a little too small, and when it broke, they fell into water cold enough to create icebergs. So did a Jackass medic pull them out of the water?
Image: nathitos on Flickr
1980s Researchers, Darwin Award Honorable Mention
This story is unconfirmed by the Darwin Awards, but the person who wrote it claimed it happened to her father in the 1980s while on a research ship near Greenland. When he and his colleague fell into the water, they had to swim to shore and be taken to the local hospital. Somehow, they only had mild frostbite and hypothermia. This one might've been too extreme even for Jackass.
Image: sharatkum on Flickr
