Have you ever looked at your bottle of water and thought, "Aren't you embarrassed? You're so exposed!" Well, it doesn't really matter if you have or not, because someone in Japan did it for you. The result is "Bottle Panties," which are exactly what they sound like: Underwear for your water bottle. Because obviously the logical thing to do for your poor, naked water bottle is to give it a pair of undies to call its own. Or... something.
"Bottle Panties," which are also known as "Bottle Underwear" or "Bottle of Your Pants" depending on your computer's translator (mine chose "Bottle of Your Pants" and I can't stop giggling), are being sold by novelty goods store Kitan Club via vending machines for only 200 yen (around $1.60). Patterns include strawberry, polka dot, and leopard, so feel free to pick whichever one suits your water bottle's personality best.
But although clothing is frequently worn for the purposes of "decency," I'l be honest: I feel like putting underwear on a water bottle makes it seem less decent somehow. Why? That, I'm not really sure. Maybe because it makes your mind automatically wonder why the bottle need to be covered up in the first place? Maybe because now I think my water bottle looks like it has a butt and that's deeply unsettling? Both of these points? Neither of them? Something else entirely? I don't know about you, but I have yet to figure this one out.
Anyway, here are five other things that I now cannot un-see as butts. Do they need underwear, too?
1. Mugatu's hair
VULGAR!
2. Latte art
LEWD!
3. Aaron Eckhart's chin
INDECENT!
4. The Airlander, the world's largest aircraft
OBSCENE!
5. Peaches
FILTH — oh wait, sorry, no, they DO make underwear for peaches. Phew. At least someone has a little modesty these days.
Images: Giphy (3); Getty Images (2); Free Weibo
