Billie Eilish is an open book when it comes to her music, sexism in the music industry, and her mental health, but one thing she's stayed noticeably quiet about over the years is her love life. However, that all changed with the release of her brand new Apple TV+ documentary, Billie Eilish: The World's a Little Blurry, which shows never-before-seen footage of the "Therefore I Am" singer and her secret ex-boyfriend, Brandon "Q" Adams.
Adams, a 24-year-old rapper who goes by the stage name 7: Amp, first appears in the film at one of Eilish's Los Angeles concerts in 2018. "Hey, Q," the singer says while hugging her then-boyfriend backstage. "You look good as hell." The clips that come later, however, reveal that they were actually pretty serious. In one scene, they hold hands while going ice skating; in another, she professes her love for him over the phone. "I love you. I'm in love with you," she says. In 2019, Eilish was even featured on the cover of Adams' debut album, Bleaupro.
Unfortunately, Eilish and Adams had their fair share of problems. "I don't want you to do that," she says at one point, reprimanding him for driving drunk. "I feel like you don't take me seriously when I say that. I just want you safe." She also admits to her brother Finneas that she feels "lonely" ahead of her 2019 Coachella performance. "I said, 'I'm getting you tickets for this, and the deal is that you have to spend time with me,'" she recalls. "... Haven't seen him in two days."
At this point, Eilish isn't the only one concerned about her relationship with Adams — her family is, too. And their concerns prove to be valid when the "Bad Guy" singer reveals that Q punched his hand through a wall. "He's so self-destructive," she says. Eventually, she comes to the decision that they need to break up. "I just wasn't happy, and I didn't want the same things he wanted, and I don't think that's fair for him," she says.
"I don't think you should be in a relationship super excited about certain things that the other person couldn't care less about," the pop star continues, adding that staying together wouldn't be the right decision for either of them. "I don't think that's fair to you. I didn't think that was fair to him. And there was just a lack of effort, I think. I literally was just like, 'Dude, you don't even have enough love to love yourself. You can't love me, dude. And you don't. You think you do.'"
Prior to the release of her documentary, Eilish has said very few things about her romantic life. In a Vogue interview from last year, the magazine shared that she was "in a romantic relationship with someone who treated her poorly." The singer briefly spoke about her love life in an interview with Capital FM as well. "I've had relationships and kept them private," she said. "And even the ones that I've had, with the tiny amount that I've let the world see, I regret."