Music

“I’m Not Here To Make Friends” Speaks To A New Sam Smith Era

The singer’s new music video has sparked some criticism.

by Maxine Harrison
Sam Smith's "I'm Not Here To Make Friends" music video still
YouTube/SamSmith

Three years after their last album Love Goes, the singer Sam Smith is well and truly back. The artist released their new album Gloria last month and has now dropped a music video for the single, “I’m Not Here To Make Friends.” And it’s certainly got the internet talking. The video’s visuals of glamour and camp fashion has sparked backlash with some calling it “super-sexualised.” But fans have been quick to jump to the defence of Smith’s video, mentioning that they are not the first to release a visual like this, drawing comparisons to Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball,” Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty,” even Queen's “I Want to Break Free.”

Others pointed out the hypocrisy of some of this criticism, “If a thin cis woman wore a corset with nipple tassles, there would not be this level of pearl-clutching and furious debate,” wrote one journalist in Vogue. But visuals aside, what’s the meaning behind the lyrics of “I’m Not Here To Make Friends?” Smith is yet to come out and explain specifically their lyrics for the new single but they do seem pretty self-explanatory. At the beginning of the song, listeners hear the following words from none other than RuPaul, “If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gon’ love somebody else?”

And this self-love opening lyric sets the tone for the rest of the track that seems to speak to what Smith is looking for in life (and love). “No, I’m not here to make friends… I need a lover” clears this right up, of course. Other lyrics in the song cement this sentiment with, “Everybody's looking for somebody. For somebody to take home. I'm not the exception. I'm a blessing of a body to love on.”It’s been reported that Smith is currently single, as in an October 2022 GQ interview they shared that they are happy being alone but also open to “wonderful romantic attention.”

The lyrics to “I’m Not Here To Make Friends” — as well as the music video — suggest that Smith is on the quest to find someone to hook up with at the party and not friendships, or even a romantic relationship, as the following lyrics suggest. In the track, Smith references their age, “Thirty almost got me and I'm so over love songs, yeah.” As Smith turned 30 last year, it hints that something pivotal happened in their life that’s now changed their outlook on life.

See the lyrics for “I’m Not Here To Make Friends” in full, below:

[Intro: RuPaul & Jessie Reyez]

If you can't love yourself

How in the hell you gon' love somebody else?

Can I get a amen in here?

You gotta, you gotta ask me

Yeah, I'm goin' to the party

But I'm not goin' to make friends

I need a lover

[Verse 1: Sam Smith]

Everybody's looking for somebody

For somebody to take home

I'm not the exception

I'm a blessing of a body to love on

[Pre-Chorus: Sam Smith]

If you want it bad tonight (Ooh, ooh)

Come by me and drop a line (Ooh, ooh-ooh)

Put your aura into mine (Ooh, ooh-ooh)

Don't be scared if you like it

I could fill you up with life (Ooh, ooh)

I could ease your appetite (Ooh, ooh-ooh)

Know you've never been this high (Ooh, ooh-ooh)

Don't be scared if you like it

'Cause I'm not here to make friends

No, I'm not here to make friends (Yeah)

'Cause I'm not here to make friends

I need a lover (I need a lover)

I need a lover (I need a lover)

[Verse 2: Sam Smith]

I'm just being honest, baby

I just need a partner when the lights come on

(When the lights come on) Yeah, yeah

Thirty almost got me and I'm so over love songs, yeah

[Pre-Chorus: Sam Smith]

So if you want it bad tonight (Ooh, ooh)

Come by me and drop a line (Ooh, ooh-ooh)

Though you've never been this high (Ooh, ooh-ooh)

Don't be scared if you like it

'Cause I'm not here to make friends

No, I'm not here to make friends (Yeah)

'Cause I'm not here to make friends

I need a lover (I need a lover)

I need a lover (I need a lover)

I need a la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

I need a la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

I need a la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

I need a lover (I need a lover)

I need a lover (I need a lover)

[Verse 3: Sam Smith]

Everybody's looking for somebody

For somebody to take home

I'm not the exception

I'm a blessing of a body to love on

'Cause I'm not here to make friends

No, I'm not here to make friends

'Cause I'm not here to make friends

I need a lover (I need a lover)

I need a lover (I need a lover)

I need a la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

I need a la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

I need a la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

I need a lover, I need a lover

I need a la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

I need a la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

I need a la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

I need a lover (I need a lover)

I need a lover (I need a lover)