Sabrina Carpenter’s “Never Getting Laid” Lyrics Include A Loaded Message

Like she once warned her beau in song, “If you don’t wanna cry to my music, don’t make me hate you prolifically.” Now, in “Never Getting Laid,” Sabrina Carpenter is staying true to her word — sending her ex a pointed message about her hopes for his life going forward.

In the seventh track off Man’s Best Friend (which dropped on Aug. 29), Carpenter pairs dreamy, ‘70s-esque production with unsparing lyrics that outline the end of a relationship. She wonders, “When just the other night you said you need me, what gives? How did it come to this? Boy, I know where you live.”

“Never Getting Laid” Meaning

The “Never Getting Laid” lyrics explain Carpenter’s frustration with her ex’s unpredictable nature. “I just wish you didn’t have a mind that could flip like a switch, that could wander and drift to a neighboring b*tch,” she sings.

Even after parting ways, she’s disturbed by the prospect of her former partner being with someone new. As she evokes the image of him hanging with his guy friends, she appeals to his bro-like self. “Us girls are fun but stressful, am I right?” she sings, before suggesting he do without: “You got a right hand anyway.”

In the chorus, Carpenter hilariously pairs high-road platitudes with her true, less charitable desires for this unnamed ex. That “all your days are sunny from your windowpane,” she sings. “Wish you a lifetime full of happiness and a forever of never getting laid.”

Carpenter seemingly channels Judy Garland (her musical inspiration) at the end of the song to really drive the message home. “At the end of the rainbow, I hope you find a good whole lot of nothing,” she sings before leaving her ex with a final reminder that “abstinence is just a state of mind.”

“Never Getting Laid” Lyrics

We were so happy, why not mix it up?

I’m so at peace, yeah, I can’t drink enough

No way to know just who you’re thinking of

I just wish you didn’t have a mind

That could flip like a switch

That could wander and drift

To a neighboring b*tch

When just the other night

You said you need me, what gives?

How did it come to this?

Boy, I know where you live

Baby, I’m not angry

I love you just the same

I just hope you get agoraphobia some day

And all your days are sunny

From your windowpane

Wish you a lifetime full of happiness

And a forever of never getting laid

I think this schedule could be very nice (Very nice)

Call up the boys and crack a Miller Lite

Watch the fight

Us girls are fun but stressful, am I right? (Am I right?)

And you got a right hand anyway (And only yesterday)

Was when we called it quits (Called it quits)

I was so confident (Confident)

‘Til the thought of it hit

That any given night you could be using your lips

On a girl with big tits

Boy, I know where you live

Baby, I’m not angry

I love you just the same

I just hope you get agoraphobia some day

And all your days are sunny

From your windowpane

I wish you a lifetime full of happiness

And a forever of never getting laid

Forever

A forever of never getting laid

At the end of the rainbow

I hope you find

A good whole lot of nothing

‘Cause you’re still inside

And abstinence is just a state of mind