Taylor Frankie Paul & Mayci Neeley’s Not-So-Secret Lives

It’s been just five days since The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives premiered on Hulu, and Taylor Frankie Paul and Mayci Neeley are still soaking it all in: The lights! The glamor! The comped hotel rooms! It’s “a princess treatment,” Paul tells me during a visit to Bustle offices. “I called my mom, I'm like, ‘You should have come with me. Look at my room!’” Neeley gushes.

In the whirlwind, Paul hasn’t even watched the show yet. “It’s not that weird that I haven’t seen it, right? Or is it?” she asks Neeley.

“I mean, it’s a little weird,” Neeley replies.

The pair can’t help but keep it real. Ironically, of course, it’s a rare quality for reality TV stars these days — two-plus decades into the genre, aspiring Bravolebrities and Bachelorettes have learned to play their parts. But Paul and Neeley are new to the game: Just two years ago, they were fairly unremarkable TikTokers, members of the Mormon group known as #MomTok.

The group had a fairly wholesome reputation, until Paul dropped a bomb in 2022, which catapulted her and the rest of her crew to new levels of fame. In a now-infamous video, she announced that she was getting divorced... and that she and other MomTokkers had been swinging. This was clearly the impetus for the series — What happens to a bunch of good Mormon moms in the wake of a sex scandal? — but save for the first episode, most of the show was filmed the following year. As the cameras follow Paul, Neeley, and the crew, it becomes clear that what’s fascinating about these women isn’t their sex lives — or at least, isn’t just their sex lives. (Fruity Pebbles, anyone?)

Like women all over the country, the Mormon Wives are trying to figure out what they want, and how to go about getting it: How to balance family and career, how to manage relationships with boyfriends and husbands, how to be true to themselves while keeping their faith. And as Paul and Neeley would tell you: how to milk this reality TV opportunity for as much as they can. “I definitely have texted my manager the most random things, childhood dreams. I'm like, ‘I want to do Victoria's Secret.’ Stuff like that where I'm like, ‘Maybe there will be opportunities for this and if so, I'm going to take them.’”

In a cramped-but-cozy makeup room, we sat down to talk about what’s happened since the first season finale and their hopes for what’s next.

Now that the show’s out, what kind of feedback have you guys been getting?

Neeley: I feel like it’s positive.

Paul: I feel like it’s really good for us. I feel for our friends.

Neeley: Yeah, there's certain friends who haven’t gotten the best feedback, but—

Certain friends?

Paul: Whitney, I just feel for her. Obviously she’s all over our feed, too, so every time I open my phone I’m like, “Oh, poor Whitney.”

Neeley: She’s getting a lot of hate, a lot of heat right now for sure.

Paul: Yeah. But I told her, “Just ride it. Ride that wave.” It’s like, I feel for her, but she can also just own it, too.

At the end of the eight episodes, you both leave your relationships with Whitney on a sour note. But I saw on Instagram that you were with her the other day, Mayci, and you guys have been doing press together. Have things changed since then?

Paul: We’re all just cordial.

Mayci: Me and her were still friends after the show. Not nearly as close as we were before, but we'd had to do press together. When we are together, it feels like normal, right? But when we're not together, it doesn't. And so right now I would say we're cordial, friendly maybe? It's hard to say.

Paul: I don’t even know how she feels about me, truly. Yeah, I feel like we’re good. She said we're good so I think we're good, but I don't know now.

Neeley: You never know.

Paul: Things have changed, so we’ll see.

I was so surprised to hear you say on Nick Viall’s podcast, The Viall Files, that she reached out to you after the swinging scandal broke.

Paul: I had no one at the time, and she was the first girl that reached out and was like, “Hey, I just want to hear your side of the story. I'm here for you.” The only friend that originally reached out. So I'll be that friend that's going to be here for her in a dark time. Maybe she doesn't want me at all, but I’m here if she needs me, you know?

Neeley: Just so you know: I reached out right after the swinging scandal, and I don't think you responded to me.

Paul: I think you and Mikayla [Matthews] said, “Hey, we’re here.” But Whitney called and was like, “Are you OK? Can I come over?”

After that first round of controversy, do you guys feel like you can weather anything?

Paul: At this point, my skin is pretty thick. It would be really hard to be going through something harder than that. The arrest was really hard on me. And that was so public and very real. That was the hardest thing I went through, and then I can't imagine anything worse.

Mayci: I mean, the swinging scandal didn't cause me too much grief. I wasn't involved, so I was more just intrigued by what was going on, to be honest. And then, yeah, I obviously got accused of being a swinger, too, but I didn't really care because I'm like, “I’m not a swinger. You can say what you want, but I know the truth.” It didn't really bug me at all.

As you’ve been doing press, has it been hard to rehash all that you’ve been through in interviews?

Neeley: For me, not really, because I don't really have any major things going on in this show. [But] for Taylor, I assume yeah.

Paul: The Viall Files was hard for me. Because it was, like, deep questioning ... It was hard to listen to, actually.

Neeley: It was hard for me to listen to it. I literally had tears listening to her [gestures to Paul].

Paul: I got home and [my boyfriend] Dakota's like, “How was it?” And I was like, “Honestly, it probably wasn't the best. Don't listen to it.” It’s hard for your partners to listen to that. It’s not fun to listen to your girlfriend go through that with other men.

Neeley: It was before [you were with] him, so—

Paul: It is before him. But I will agree [with Dakota], I would hate to hear him talking about hooking up with women. I need to remember that it's hard to hear from your significant other.

How is he doing generally with the show being out?

Paul: Good. Better than I thought. He was so anxious, because I think he thought — well, I haven’t seen it — but I think he thought it was going to be worse. I think he’s just taking it for what it is. They showed a little bit of him, but not the whole thing. And he was like, “I'll maybe have a chance later to tell my story too.” So I think he’s doing great. Surprisingly.

He felt like his whole story wasn’t told?

Paul: Yeah. Like, he has a lot of good sides. He is a very golden retriever boyfriend, and in the show I guess they’re saying he was really mean. And of course we've been mean to each other, but overall, I feel like he is a softy and all I have to do is be like, “I love you and I'm in this with you,” and he's good. That's all he needs to hear. He is maybe portrayed a little differently than he is, and he also has a huge backstory of himself.

In the finale, Mayci digs into Dakota’s past a bit, and it seems like she doesn’t trust him. Have you both worked through your feelings about Dakota since the show ended?

Neeley: As a friend, I was just doing what I'd want a friend to do for me. And it wasn't shown, but I got [Mayci’s] approval to call Jenna. So I just want to make that clear, because I would never overstep that much ... Especially when it comes to men, there’s a whole other side of me, but it also comes from my past of being in some bad relationships. And so I just want my friends to be happy and what's best for them. And so Taylor working on everything with Dakota and improving is great. I'm happy for them.

Paul: Yeah, and I had no issues with it. I know it's maybe annoying for him, but if you have nothing to hide, then don't be worried, buddy.

On a different note, has it been strange being asked so many questions about Mormon culture and Mormon life? You've kind of been asked to be cultural translators.

Neeley: I don’t think I’ve ever talked about being Mormon so much in my entire life in the last month. On social media I never really talked about religion. The only time I'd talk about it is if people asked, or if I was making a TikTok about getting pregnant at BYU as a Mormon, then I would poke fun at it. But I never really talked about religion until this show, which is so weird to have it so incorporated.

Paul: Yeah we don't understand the fascination with it. We were born and raised with it, so it's our normal — it's our life.

Now that Season 1 is out and you’re continuing to build your careers on social media, where do you see yourselves going?

Paul: That’s a good question. Honestly, I guess I'm just thinking for right now, Season 2. Short term. That would be fun.

Neeley: I think it's also seeing how big [the show] gets. Because I'm like, wait, this was a childhood dream of mine. I wonder if I can do this now, which I never thought I could. Or like, I wonder if I could be on this magazine. Things that opportunity-wise I think we'd all love to have.

Paul: And pivot from that, right? Businesses that we've wanted to do. Maybe some girl wants to do a makeup line, or for me, I feel like I've always wanted to invest in properties.

Do you guys have models of people who’ve been influencers or on reality TV and made it into something bigger?

Neeley: I think it’s hard because we haven't watched a ton of reality TV ... The only one I really know is the Kardashians, right? They all have their businesses and they're super successful. So if we could model off them, sure, I'll take that.

Paul: Yeah, because they all turned it into businesses ... That's another good question, honestly. When people ask me deeper questions, I realize how much I don't know about myself. Because I don't have answers. I really don’t.

Why do you think that is?

Paul: I was asked that in therapy the other day. They asked, “Who are you?” And I had no answers. I was like, “I know my favorite color is green and I’m a mom.” I knew just basic things about myself, but that's such a loaded question. Who would you say you are, Mayci? Could you answer that?

Neeley: I became a mom really young, at 20. When you become a mom so young, you have to rediscover who you are. I'm still working on that too. Because I would be like, "I'm a mother first and foremost, a wife, a business owner, and a content creator." I would just go based off family, career. That's what’s hard. We're all still discovering who we are and stuff like that.

Paul: “What do you want?” That was another [question from my therapist]. I was like, “I want to do this with my kids,” [and they said,] “No, you couldn't include anybody. What do you want?” And I was like, “That is so hard because I go off of my family.”

Neeley: Health and happiness. That's what I always pray for at night. Everything else falls after that.

Paul: I think mine was peace. I was like, "I just want peace." I just haven't felt it in so long that my body is in fight or flight. In the last two years, I haven't felt peaceful. I'm excited for that day to come.

Has the reaction to the show affected your relationships with your communities, with the Mormon Church at all?

Neeley: If anything, it’s better now than it was before. Before the show came out, it was so much speculation, judging the book by its cover. Now that it's out, I haven't heard anything negative. There's always going to be people who say certain things — I know there was a couple of family members who were like, "All the girls say the F word so much. Oh my gosh, I hate this." And I'm like, "OK, sorry, it's real life. This is what happens. And I only said it one time the whole show."

On the show, there’s a lot of talk about how traditionally the man is the breadwinner and how that can cause some tension when the woman is the breadwinner. Is that something you guys have dealt with?

Neeley: Not in my relationship at all. For a while I was the complete sole provider. My husband actually just got a job recently, and so for me it was nothing new. It depends on who your partner is, and my partner is very open. The older generation in the Mormon culture has different views. I know my parents, when I was a sole provider, were not about it. They're like, “No, he needs to work.”

As time goes on with the church especially, you see more and more women working now and owning businesses, and I think it's freaking amazing. I absolutely love it, because we want to show our younger generation, our kids growing up, that you can be a strong, powerful woman, be a business owner, be a badass, be opinionated, do all the things, and you don't have to be apologetic for it. That's what I really love about the show — showcasing that.

Paul: Yeah, I would say it doesn't affect my relationship. I was obviously doing all my own things before I met Dakota, so it was just like, it is what it is, honestly, a take-it-or-leave-it type of way. I don't think he had an issue with it. But I'm also for the moms who want to stay home too and raise their kids. And I think it's up to you. I wouldn't mind sitting at home and cooking, taking care of the kids. I'll take it.

Neeley: There are times where I'm like, "I want to be a trad wife."

Paul: Me too ... But then there's other days where we want to come out and do our own thing.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.