They Got Fired — And Now They’re Thriving

In Bustle’s Quick Question, we ask women leaders all about career advice, from the best guidance they’ve ever gotten to what they’re still figuring out. Here, Laura Brown and Kristina O’Neill, co-authors of All the Cool Girls Get Get Fired: How to Let Go of Being Let Go and Come Back on Top, talk about how it’s actually kind of fab to get axed, plus how to start over.

It goes without saying: Getting fired sucks. The moments before are excruciating, especially if you get invited to a last-minute meeting with HR and know exactly what’s coming. The aftermath is even worse: losing a steady paycheck and health insurance, diving into a daunting job market, and taking a massive hit to your self-esteem. It’s a true walk-in-the-rain-and-feel-sorry-for-yourself moment. Being laid off is hardly any easier.

While getting the boot is bound to turn your life upside down, Laura Brown and Kristina O’Neill say it also sets you up for bigger, better things — even if it doesn’t feel that way at the time. That’s why they teamed up to write their new book, All The Cool Girls Get Fired, out this week.

If anyone knows what it’s like to start over, it’s these two. O’Neill, an editor of over 25 years, has worked at Time Out New York, New York magazine, WSJ. magazine, and Harper’s Bazaar — where she met Brown. After being laid off from WSJ., O’Neill is now the head of media at Sotheby’s.

Brown’s also been in the biz for 25 years, and her career has followed a similar trajectory with a start at Australian Family, which closed soon after she began. “I’m the kiss of death,” she jokes. She then held positions at Mode, Harper’s Bazaar, Talk magazine, W, and Harper’s Bazaar again, before landing at InStyle where she was editor-in-chief for five years before its print edition shuttered. She now owns her own company, LB Media.

Despite their impressive resumes, they weren’t immune to being unceremoniously shuffled out the door. “Not to brag, but I got canned first with my team in 2022,” Brown tells Bustle. “And then Kristina got canned about 14 months after me in 2023.” While O’Neill was getting fired, she secretly texted Brown from under the table for advice. Soon after that, they began collaborating as co-authors.

Here, the duo talks about the “Fired Mount Rushmore” and how their book serves as a GPS toward getting back on track.

Were either of you blindsided by getting fired?

Laura Brown: Yes and no. During my tenure at InStyle, we were bought and sold three times, so I think anyone with their eye attuned to the radar could see it coming. I was a bit of a “dog with its head out the window,” so getting canned in February 2022 was a surprise.

Kristina O’Neill: I didn’t see it coming right my way. There's been so much change in media in the last, well, pretty much the entire time we've worked in it. But in my particular circumstances my boss had been replaced, so the head of the newspaper was replaced, and so the person who came in then replaced me. I noticed that I never got any time with her until the day I did — and she fired me.

What did you do immediately afterward?

O’Neill: I wasn't literally marched out of the building with my dead office plant in a box. In my case, I was asked to stay on for another six weeks to start the transition process.

Brown: It was the long goodbye.

O’Neill: I was completely discombobulated, to be honest. I still had to get dressed and go to work, which I did dutifully. I got some closure, but I know most people don’t get that.

Brown: Mine happened on Zoom, so the first thing I did was sit on my bed. I also tried to take care of the babies on my team who were at their first job. Everyone felt vulnerable, but shock can be a bit of an armor. We realized we just had to own what happened.

When did you start to see the silver lining?

Brown: When I realized I was tired of working for the "bro-verlords" who controlled my day, my mood, and my future. I was done. I also say in the book that people send you beautiful eulogies when you get fired — lovely words about yourself, but you’re still alive to read them. You don’t get that when you leave a job, but you do when you’re fired.

It’s a lovely buffer in a moment where you’re like, “Oh, there isn’t going to be any money,” and you’re sort of swirling. Being fired is like those old cartoons where an anvil lands on your head. You don’t want to add your own shame on top of it. I mean it when I say getting fired is like a shortcut to the better life that comes next.

We actually thank our former bosses. When you’re fired, you're forcibly reminded that there is a bigger world out there, and maybe one you didn’t see. People have to pay their bills, there are vulnerabilities we all have, but it also forces you to think about the things about your job that weren't so great. It serves as a reflective period.

O’Neill: In the words of Oprah, the step back is the setup.

Brown: We also talk about the practical side, like the loss of healthcare, as well as the mental. How’s your noggin? What identity have you attached to your job? From there, there’s an arc to getting back in the game, and we even have a chapter on firing yourself from a job you don’t want anymore.

It all comes down to power, and reminding yourself of the power you have, and the fact you are on loan to the employer. Everything that is in you and all your skills, they take for a period of time, but you take it back out the door with you, whichever way you leave that door.

“Being fired is sort of like those old cartoons where an anvil lands on your head. You don’t want to add your own shame on top of it.”

How did the writing process unfold?

O’Neill: Laura was traveling in the immediate moment I was fired, but I texted her from underneath the table when I was still in HR to say, “Hey, I’m getting the boot.” Obviously I had a million questions for her because she had been through it. When she got back, we met up for drinks.

Brown: We took a picture of ourselves at the bar because we were looking cute, and we put “all the cool girls get fired” as the caption. We posted the photo and the reaction was huge. Kristina called me the next day and said, "This is a book."

O’Neill: Thirty days after getting fired, we were banging out the proposal. It’s the book we wish existed when we went through it. It offers a glimmer of relief, as well as a curiosity about what else could be. Instead of googling and texting friends for advice, all the info you need is now in one place.

Brown: Men have what Kristina calls their “Fired Mount Rushmore” — Steve Jobs, Mike Bloomberg — who have the legend of, “Well, if I hadn’t been fired, there wouldn’t be the iPhone.” A year from now, we want women to be like, “Yeah, I got fired,” and to have the same mindset about what could happen next.

O’Neill: Whether you leave or you get fired, use it as an opportunity to reset.

What’s your top piece of advice for someone who just got fired?

O’Neill: Surround yourself with the people who can talk about your values as a person. You need those reminders. If you work hard and you have great relationships, you will bounce back.

You also might not even be able to guess where you’ll end up. Two years ago, if you said I was going to be working for the oldest auction house in the world, I would have said, “Are you crazy?” But now I can see how my skills and strengths were transferrable.

Brown: If it happens to you, know that you’re not alone.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.