You’ve heard it countless times: Before you can love someone else, you must first love yourself. “To love ourselves means to know how to build compassion, patience, and trust in ourselves,” says Daisy Rivera Avalos, an empowerment coach who focuses on crystal healing. Just because it’s true, however, doesn’t mean it’s easy. “Self-love can only come from us, but we can call upon the power of self-love crystals to help us get there,” adds Rivera Avalos.
To embrace the bump in your nose, to shake off the feeling of not enough-ness, to confidently take yourself out on a solo dinner date — that all takes a serious dose of genuine appreciation for the person you are. Crystals for self-love, whether you meditate with them or wear a piece of crystal jewelry, can crack open your heart chakra (a good thing!) and build your confidence. Then that solo date won’t seem so daunting.
Ready to feel the warm fuzzies for yourself? Read on for the best crystals for self love.
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With a nickname like “the love stone,” rose quartz is naturally at the top of a list of crystals for self-love. This popular crystal encourages all forms of unconditional love, including for yourself. “Whether you want to heal pain in your heart, attract a love that will light you up, or create love for yourself, rose quartz brings that to light,” says Rivera Avalos. If you’re battling self-sabotaging behaviors — perhaps buying another round of martinis instead of putting away pennies for retirement, again — rose quartz can help turn those habits around.
How to use it: Wear a piece of rose quartz jewelry. If your heart chakra is tied in knots, a rose quartz necklace will help open you up to all kinds of loving relationships, including, most importantly, the one you have with yourself.
Sometimes you’ll say something snippy to your mom. Other times, you’ll bomb a presentation at work. Rhodochrosite is a crystal of compassion and empathy — for others, yes, but primarily for yourself. After all, part of being human is making mistakes. “This stone is about optimism, compassion, and love for self and others,” says Robyn Vie Carpenter-Brisco, author of Let’s Get Stoned: Using Stones and Crystals to Create a Life That Rocks! Rhodochrosite also instills the courage and confidence you need to let go of self-destructive patterns. Consider picking up a rhodochrosite and putting down whatever app you’re stalking your ex on.
How to use it: Create a safe home for a rhodochrosite crystal near your bathroom sink, then repeat a mantra of self-love to yourself each morning in the mirror. Try something simple like, “I love myself” or “I am worthy of good things.” Be careful not to drop the rhodochrosite in the sink, though; a little bit of water won’t hurt, but fully submerging the stone can cause it to crack or dissolve.
Say you got laid off, your dog ran away, and your landlord upped your rent — all in the same week. That’s where rhodonite’s soul-nourishing abilities come in. Its healing properties reinforce self-love, even during the toughest of times. Like many pink-hued crystals, rhodonite is connected to the heart chakra, where love, trust, and empathy for others and yourself are housed. “Rhodonite is known to be a crystal for compassion, and it assists with clearing unresolved issues, emotional wounds, and negative energy,” says Rivera Avalos.
How to use it: Keep a rhodonite crystal in a prominent spot in your home. Having its grounding abilities nearby will help restore your confidence, especially when life has put you through the wringer.
“The sunset stone,” as carnelian is called, encourages a zest for life while building an unbreakable bond with yourself. “When you hold the stone, it brings this fire within, and its energy assists with building confidence and self-esteem,” says Rivera Avalos. Maybe you’ve been bummed about being passed over for a promotion, or you’re uninspired by the monotony of your wake-work-sleep schedule. You’ll feel carnelian’s fiery energy just as easily as you’ll see its blazing red and orange hues.
How to use it: If you need a boost of confidence, meditate with a carnelian worry stone in your hand. Concentrate on something you’re excited about, like an upcoming beach day or holding your newborn niece for the first time. Its enthusiastic energy will radiate through you, and you’ll hold your head higher afterwards.
It’s easy to fall in love with kunzite’s gentle, joyful energy. How convenient, because the purple calming crystal can help you fall further in love with yourself too. Kunzite has the ability to bridge your heart and your mind, allowing for open and honest communication between the two — a must for understanding your true wants and needs. “Kunzite helps you connect to that well of love that lies within you,” says Carpenter-Brisco. “In finding that deep comforting love for yourself, you will become a beacon of love for others.”
How to use it: Wear a piece of kunzite jewelry to remind yourself that love starts within. Each time you put it on, repeat a love mantra to yourself. “I am smart and strong” works, and so does, “Wow, I look hot today.”