The Office Romance Is Making A Comeback — And HR Is Surprisingly Chill

The morning after, they each had the same thought: Oh, thank God. What a close call. That would’ve been a terrible decision. Laura and Todd, both journalists, had been out for an evening of drinks with colleagues following a particularly horrific day covering the news. Gradually, the herd had thinned out until it was just the two of them, alone at the bar near 3 a.m. with a sudden weight of sexual tension between them. They’d worked together for a couple of years at this point, and each had emerged from a relationship in their early 30s to be newly single. Perhaps it wasn’t out of the question that they might find their next partners at work? But there was one big problem: “We weren’t just co-workers — she was my boss,” Todd says. “I was like, ‘Oh my God. I almost just made out with my boss.’ Nothing good could possibly come from that.”

For weeks, they both turned up at work trying to forget that night. But Laura’s budding crush was hard to ignore. She called her mom, a human resources director at a medical center, who was understanding. When Laura confided in her nonwork friends, however, they were blunt, reminding her of an office relationship she’d had at a previous job years prior that had ended in disaster. “This is a terrible idea,” they told her. “Do not do it. You’ve been down this road before.”

And yet, part of her still wanted to see where the road led. Part of him did, too. When they once again found themselves as the last people out one night, Todd tested the waters: “I shouldn’t say this to my boss…” His flirty words lit a fire in Laura — and gave her some relief. The #MeToo movement was in full swing at this point in 2018, and as his superior, she was adamant he would have to make the first move. “I was so excited,” Laura recalls, “but it was like, ‘In the position I’m in, I cannot say anything to you right now. If this is going to happen, you have to be the one who’s going to take the lead.’”

A night together turned into several more. Days gave way to weeks. They knew they needed to disclose what was happening to their bosses, but they also wanted time to decide whether this was something worth the embarrassment and trouble that might come with such a disclosure. Eventually, though, the secret became untenable. When they finally spoke with HR, they had both rehearsed a story that made things sound a touch more innocent than the truth, but it turned out work didn’t really mind. “As HR ended up telling me,” Laura says, “this happens all the time.”

“We joked how funny it was that our employer was basically paying for our hookup hotel room.”

Seven years later, Todd, now 40, and Laura, 37, are happily married with a house and a young son. (The couple were granted pseudonyms, like others interviewed for this story about their relationships, to preserve some anonymity.) Theirs is a success story — albeit, one with highly fraught origins — about something many people might assume may be dying out in 2026: the workplace romance. After all, the pandemic birthed a culture of remote or hybrid work that makes it harder to casually run into an office crush by the watercooler, the gig economy created an army of freelancers, and the #MeToo movement brought radical levels of attention and reform to what is considered appropriate professional behavior. And yet, workplace romances are actually thriving in the modern era. Indeed, as Laura and Todd were shocked to learn when they finally spoke with HR, experts aren’t fazed by any of this, given just how central work is still to most of our lives. “It doesn’t surprise me,” said Theresa Adams, lead specialist with the Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM), a trade group representing nearly 340,000 HR professionals worldwide. “We typically spend so much time at work, and that’s where we tend to meet people.”

Workplace relationships haven’t just endured over the past decade; they’ve increased — or at least the number of people willing to confess to them has. It’s true that, in the immediate aftermath of #MeToo, workers seemed more cautious: One late 2017 survey found the number of people admitting to an office romance was at a 10-year low at just 36%, while a 2020 SHRM survey put that number at just 27%. Within five years, though, this had almost doubled to 52%. (A 2024, Forbes Advisor survey conducted by the market research firm OnePoll similarly found that 60% of adults have had a workplace romance.)

Amy Baker, a psychologist and professor at the University of New Haven in Connecticut, pointed out that movement’s primary concern was ending sexual harassment, not sex itself; one is about power dynamics and intimidation, she notes, while the other is more about a shared romantic attraction between equal players. It made sense to her, then, that office flings weren’t going anywhere. “#MeToo made sexual harassment more visible, more acceptable to discuss, and that might have gotten some people a little worried and cautious about any consensual or romantic relationship,” Baker says. “But the fact is, workplace romance bounced back.”

It’s not surprising that many of us are looking for love on company time. After all, pop culture abounds with inspiration. Practically every major drama or comedy on TV has showcased romance in a variety of workplaces, from The Office to Severance to Grey’s Anatomy. HBO’s Industry, which has given us several seasons of financial workers behaving badly with one another, even recently featured a scene wherein an assistant played by Kiernan Shipka has a threesome with her boss (played by Kit Harington) and his wife (Marisa Abela). Last year, Hallmark produced a distinctly modern TV movie, Return to Office, in which two hybrid workers start falling for each other via Post-it notes they leave for one another on a shared desk. And later this year, Netflix will also release Office Romance, a raunchy rom-com in which Jennifer Lopez plays a CEO whose “rigid anti-fraternization policy for all her employees” comes under strain when a “sexy lawyer” played by Brett Goldstein begins working for her.

Then, of course, there are all the high-profile incidents of workplace fraternization that come to dominate news headlines. Most infamous were the two executives caught embracing last year on a kisscam at a Coldplay concert, but the CEOs of McDonalds, Nestlé, and NBC Universal — as well as CNN’s Jeff Zucker, Rep. Katie Hill, and Sen. Krysten Sinema — have all been hit with headlines (or allegations) about workplace relationships. Baker, the professor, tells Bustle that each time one of these high-profile incidents makes the news, she will start getting emails from the handful of other U.S. academics who, like her, have made a career out of studying workplace relationships. “We email each other back and forth. Like, ‘Did you see this one?’” Baker says. “We often use those CEO stories as ideas for our own research.”

“The will-they-or-won’t-they stuff was more fun. I really should have settled for a knowing glance and gone home.”

Human beings tend to be attracted to familiar people, Baker explains, meaning those whom we see regularly (like colleagues) and those with whom we may share traits, experience, or skills (...like colleagues). When coupled with the bonding experiences that many jobs may entail, it’s only natural that sparks can fly. “You have the basic ingredients for attraction built into a lot of workplaces,” Baker said. “Despite all the advice that says don’t do it, sometimes people’s emotions and the basic psychology of attraction might counteract that advice.”

But the contours of workplace relationships have changed in a few key ways. One big development in 2026 is that much of this bonding is now digital. The postpandemic explosion of remote or hybrid work may have removed physical barriers between colleagues, but not emotional ones. In a survey of more than 1,000 American workers last year by Zety, a career advice website, 86% of people said they felt remote work had actually made it easier to spark romance with colleagues, while 94% said things like emojis and GIFs helped facilitate office flirting. More than half of respondents said they frequently notice romantic tension or flirting between co-workers during virtual meetings, while almost two-thirds owned up to doing the same via email, Slack, or Teams. Adams with the SHRM said getting glimpses into co-workers’ homes via webcam can create a feeling of casual intimacy that might not have previously existed prior to the pandemic; similarly, Baker believes direct messages between staffers — maybe at first about something work-related, maybe later about more personal things — can create a bonding feeling over a shared secret. (Even if, on Slack and on your work email, nothing is actually a secret from your employer.)

“It’s not really a fun, sexy secret anymore. It’s just getting logistically annoying at this point.”

Danny, a 34-year-old tech worker, had been trading messages — first emails, then texts — for 18 months with a fellow gay colleague who had slowly come to feel like a “work husband.” Although they lived in different states and had been fastidious about never saying anything risky in writing, they weren’t always successful at hiding the vibe between them. “It was the most low-key flirting I’ve ever done to be super safe, but the one other person on our team would often comment that she felt like our forgotten child,” Danny says. When Danny finally met this man on a West Coast work trip in December, drinks soon turned into an offer to come inspect his home creative studio. There, they discussed their relationships — Danny in an open one, this man in a closed one — but, sitting next to him, Danny could sense something shifting. “You know how you can feel the energy of someone you want to kiss without touching them?” Danny recalls. “So I said, ‘We can’t kiss.’ And he was like, ‘You’re right… but what if we just get it out of our system and that’s it and we don’t tell anyone.’” That was good enough for Danny.

What followed was a night of some of the best sex Danny has ever had, but the vibe immediately felt different the next morning. Danny could see this man starting to panic about his relationship and job. Since then, they’ve mostly been avoiding each other in work chats. Not only does Danny now feel like he’s lost a close friend at work, he’s also living with the fallout of most likely being the cause of this man’s recent breakup. “It was truly a fun few hours — the most fun and sexy I’ve felt in a very long time. But looking back, I really should have settled for a knowing glance and gone home,” Danny says. “The will-they-or-won’t-they stuff was more fun.”

For those who do manage to turn flirtation into a relationship, there’s also more corporate bureaucracy to contend with. Many companies updated or formalized their policies around workplace relationships in the wake of #MeToo. Facebook and Google put into writing that co-workers can now try asking each other out, but only once, and any ambiguity counts as a no. Between 2013 and 2025, the number of organizations without any formal policies covering workplace romances fell from 54% to 22%, according to the SHRM. In 2013, only 5% of companies asked co-workers who wanted to date to sign so-called love contracts, formal documents designed to cover what should happen professionally in the event of any breakup, but the agreements also received renewed attention in recent years. Companies that don’t face the realities of office relationships may also be putting themselves at risk — a flat-out ban might simply force couples to hide their romance, Baker says, which could create all sorts of liabilities if anything untoward occurs, like favoritism.

“Eventually the secret comes out, and the people around you often have a bad taste in their mouth.”

Formalizing relationships by documenting them with HR may feel awkward, but workplace sweethearts often find themselves left with little choice. Kate, a 34-year-old communications worker, spent three years of sneaking around with a client at various conferences around the world — in direct violation of her company’s policy against romantic relationships with colleagues, clients, or vendors. (Meant to prevent favoritism or claims of sexual harassment, the policy always struck Kate as impractical; it potentially excluded her from dating tens of thousands of people at the various big firms she services.) Eventually, her web of deception became too tough to maintain. “It was hot and secretive at first, but now I’m spending every weekend with him, he’s at my birthday party,” Kate remembers thinking. “And it’s not really a fun, sexy secret anymore. It’s just kind of getting logistically annoying at this point.” Once she told HR staff — who, according to Kate, were only happy for her — they had to then formally ask the client CEO (who also happened to be her lover’s brother) whether both the relationship and Kate’s continued work on his account had his blessing. “We had to send this formal email,” Kate says. “It was funny sh*t.”

Conferences like the kind Kate attended are also under more scrutiny now. “Many HR policies are being updated to broaden the definition of the workplace to include any behavior outside of work” — at office holiday parties, workplace happy hours, company retreats — “that can impact work,” Adams says.

It was at a workplace conference that Joseph, 36, recently felt comfortable enough to enjoy some casual sex with a colleague. When his company hosted a global meetup for senior executives in Australia in December, he decided to open Grindr, wherein he began chatting with the one co-worker who wasn’t scared enough to immediately block him. These two men then spent much of the next three days hooking up in each other’s hotel rooms, but it all felt victimless to Joseph given they were both senior staffers without any power imbalance and were on different teams in different cities. “It turned what would have been a rather bland corporate snooze fest into a bit of a thrill,” he says. “It was like being a rebellious teenager with a six-figure salary. After hooking up for the third time, we joked how funny it was that our employer was basically paying for our hookup hotel room.”

While the stakes of an office hookup or romance can seem dire, at least as played out in the media, there are other, smaller potential consequences employees should be aware of. Baker warns that couples who go public may unintentionally cause some colleagues to feel betrayed — especially if these co-workers had been badmouthing one member of the couple without realizing the pair was an item. “Eventually the secret comes out, and the people around you often have a bad taste in their mouth,” Baker says. “They think that you’ve pulled one over on them somehow.” That’s what happened to Todd before he and Laura came forward with their relationship; when hanging out with colleagues, he’d have to bite his tongue when some complained about tough edits that Laura had done on their stories.

For Laura, it ultimately felt embarrassing, strange, and freeing when the pair eventually received a letter from HR with both their names printed in full that gave them permission to start dating. All this formality created a fair amount of unnatural pressure for their relationship to actually be a success, the couple said. Today, though they no longer work together, they still enjoy being able to vent about the news and the ins and outs of media once they’re off the clock. They advised any budding workplace couples to be clear-eyed about the risks and rewards of any potential relationship; for them, the latter just happened to be stronger. As Todd told Laura in a speech at their engagement party, “Little did you know that when you were violating our HR policies, you were also violating my heart.”