Every day, Bustle’s tarot writer Carolyn Steber turns to her deck to answer readers’ questions.
Q: How do I stop worrying about things outside my control?
A: In the heat of the moment, worrying feels like a really productive way to control the future. Let’s say you wake up and immediately start panicking about the state of the world or go through your day fretting about the safety and well-being of everyone you know. Nothing bad can happen if you’re constantly braced for impact, right?
What makes this habit extra tricky is that sometimes worrying is worthwhile. If you’re stressed about a test, you can study extra hard. If you’re worried about your relationship, you can talk to your partner. If you think you’re getting a cold, you can get some extra sleep. In these cases, you do have quite a bit of sway, and the worry is what inspires you to take action.
The vast majority of things, however, are completely outside your grasp. You can’t control what people think of you, if a partner will cheat, if the weather will ruin your plans, or if your vacation will go off without a hitch. All worrying does it cause unnecessary stress, and it makes sense that you’re sick of it.
How Do You Stop Worrying?
The Ace of Pentacles has popped up to remind you that can’t control everything, and that’s OK. This card represents new opportunities, abundance, prosperity, and security, which suggests you’ll be good no matter what mishaps or messes come your way.
Sure, it might rain on your wedding day, your crush might stop texting back, and your car might break down dramatically on the side of the road. While less than ideal, none of these situations are the end of the world.
Instead of worrying about all of life’s “what ifs,” trust that you’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way. In some cases, a major letdown might even lead you somewhere better.
A rainy wedding could make for amazing pics, a ghosting could redirect you towards the love of your life, and if your car putters to a stop, well, maybe it’s just a lesson to check your oil more often.
But... You Still Feel Nervous
If your worry stems from true anxiety, a couple of tarot cards aren’t going to help you magically relax. The Six of Cups suggests reaching out to others for support, like your mom or a therapist. They can help you figure out how to cope with your stress, especially the large-scale stress that keeps you up at night.
Being active in your community can also help you feel a little bit less helpless. Think of the thing that worries you most and look for small-scale ways to make an impact. You might not have a ton of control, but you can do something.
For more, check out your horoscope.
