Here's Every Zodiac Sign As A Tortured Poets Department Song

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It’s right there in the opening lyrics: “Who’s gonna stop us from waltzing / Back into rekindled flames?”

If anyone’s going to recklessly charge into a risky situation without worrying about the consequences, it’ll be fire sign Aries.

Describing a whirlwind relationship, Swift sings, “You and I go from one kiss to gettin’ married.” It fits Aries’ impulsive side to a T.

“So Long, London”

It’s heavily rumored that Swift wrote this ballad about the end of her six-year relationship with Joe Alwyn. Several lyrics describe fiercely hanging onto a relationship despite knowing it won’t last — something loyal, stubborn, romantic Taureans might know something about.

• “Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away”
• “And you say I abandoned the ship / But I was going down with it / My white knuckle dying grip”
• “You swore that you loved me but where were the clues? / I died on the altar waiting for the proof”

“The Bolter”

Geminis are delightfully intriguing social butterflies with a natural gift for befriending new people. But like every sign, they have their less desirable traits, too — namely, they can occasionally be perceived as flaky or two-faced.

As the name implies, “The Bolter” doesn’t stick around for long. She’s “bewitching” and “charmingly helpless / excellent fun ‘til you get to know her,” and contains multitudes, having lived “all her f*cking lives.”

“Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus”

Represented by the crab, Cancers are often sensitive on the inside and steely on the outside.

This ballad’s chorus describes that exact dynamic: “If you wanna break my cold, cold heart / Just say, ‘I loved you the way that you were’ / If you wanna tear my world apart / Just say you’ve always wondered.”

Just because you seem tough doesn’t mean you’re void of real feelings.

“Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”

It’s hard not to be drawn to someone as vibrant, magnetic, and majestic as a Leo. While a lion might sometimes catch criticism for being self-centered, who can blame them?

Swift gets it. In this anthem about being misunderstood, she sings, “So tell me everything is not about me / But what if it is?”

“I Can Do It With a Broken Heart”

Hard-working and reliable above all else, a Virgo knows the show must go on — even if they’re crushed from mourning the end of a relationship. Instead of simply going through the motions, this earth sign will channel their pain to deliver truly excellent work.

Many fans believe Swift wrote this song about performing her Eras Tour while dealing with her split from Alwyn. She sings, “I cry a lot but I am so productive, it's an art / You know you're good when you can even do it / With a broken heart.”

“Guilty As Sin?”

Libras are utter romantics who see everything through rose-colored glasses. While that’s a beautiful way to live life, it also means they can feel caught off-guard and confused when bitter reality hits.

In this song about loving someone she shouldn’t, Swift sings, “I keep recalling things we never did / Messy top lip kiss / How I long for our trysts / Without ever touching his skin / How can I be guilty as sin?”

“Down Bad”

A dramatic Scorpio? Shocker. This moody pop hit chronicles the overwhelming pain of a breakup in terms this water sign is bound to relate to:

“Now I'm down bad crying at the gym / Everything comes out teenage petulance / What if I can't have him? / I might just die, it would make no difference."

“Florida!!!”

If anyone is going to pack their bags and run away from their feelings, it’s a Sagittarius. The archer is full of wanderlust, always up for a trip, and known for being emotionally detached.

In this duet, Swift sings, “I need to forget, so take me to Florida,” and Florence and the Machine chimes in with, “I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida.”

“thanK you aIMee”

If a young Capricorn isn’t happy in their hometown, they’ll dream of getting out and making it big someday. While the goat is naturally ambitious, they’ll work even harder if it means proving the haters wrong.

Though the bully in the song is referred to as Aimee, some Swift fans believe she wrote this song about Kim Kardashian (note the capitalized letters).

She sings, “All that time you were throwing punches / I was building something,” and “I pushed each boulder up the hill / Your words are still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head.”

“But Daddy I Love Him”

Rebellious Aquarius takes pride in being an independent thinker. No matter what kind of advice they get, this impulsive, stubborn, idealistic sign will trust their instincts no matter what.

In this country-tinged track, Swift sings about loving someone even when the people around her disapprove: “No, I'm not coming to my senses / I know he's crazy but he's the one I want.”

She has harsh words for her nay-sayers: “God save the most judgmental creeps / Who say they want what's best for me.”

“I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)”

When Pisces gets caught up in their dream world, they can lose touch with cold, hard reality.

In this song about attempting to tame a wild man, Swift romanticizes a relationship that’s doomed to fail: “His hand so calloused from his pistol / Softly traces hearts on my face.”

Ultimately, the truth catches up to her. Though she desperately wants to “fix him,” the final lyric concludes, “Whoa, maybe I can't.”