With the holidays quickly approaching, it's time to get some shopping done. And, while your list may be long with the names of other people, have you stopped to think about yourself? Sure, it might feel like your options are endless as to what to get, but buying a sex toy for yourself may be exactly what you need.
Unlike clothes, sex toys never go out of fashion, and unlike treating yourself to your favorite restaurant, sex toys offer satisfaction that lasts. There's also the fact that masturbation is excellent for your mind and body, so much so that we can file it under self-care. And everyone deserves self-care, especially this time of year.
According to a recent survey of 1,012 people by Univia, a skincare line, 66.7% of the respondents regarded masturbation as the most effective form of self-care. And when asked to do a word association, 66.8% associated the word masturbation with relaxing.
"Masturbation is a powerful remedy for your sense of self, especially if you struggle with taking care of yourself," Janet Brito, PhD. PSY, LCSW, CS, psychologist and sex therapist, tells Bustle in a previous article. "Specifically when you have grown up with restrictive views about your sexuality, and have trouble experiencing pleasure."
If you're ready for that powerful remedy and to give yourself the gift you really deserve this year, here are 11 sex toys to buy for yourself.
1. Sweet Vibrations The Perfect Match
Although the majority of people with a clitoris need clitoral stimulation to climax, if you can get some G-spot action in there too, then you have yourself a win-win. Sweet Vibrations The Perfect Match Vibrator is that win-win that you need to get yourself this holiday season. Perfectly shaped to hit all the right spots and one hell of a bargain, especially when it comes to sex toys, this is a great vibrator to add to your collection. Or, if you don't have a collection yet, a great starter toy.
2. Dame Products Fin
When it comes to sex toys, similar to penises, bigger isn't always better. In fact, it's those things that come in little packages that can deliver quite a thrill — Fin by Dame Products is that thrill you need.
Designed to feel like a natural extension of your hand, Fin just feels like it's supposed to be there, tucked between your fingers. With three speeds to offer optimal pleasure, Fin can be used all over your body, so no erogenous zone has to go without some proper attention. Every inch of you deserves proper attention.
3. CBD Massage Oil
In the last couple years, CBD products have popped up everywhere. It seems every time you turn around, something else is coming out of the woodwork infused with CBD — and that's a good thing. CBD fans and advocates stand by its ability to relieve pain and stress, as well as stimulate when needed. Although massage oil might seem like something that's best for couples, no one ever said you couldn't give yourself a massage or douse yourself in CBD massage oil when you get out of the shower. This oil is luxuriously hydrating and a great way to end or start your day.
4. Womanizer Premium
Created to offer something besides vibration to the clitoris, the Pleasure Air technology of this Womanizer toy is intense. So intense that it's actually been used to treat women who struggle to orgasm.
Even if you're the type of person who can orgasm pretty much on demand, Womanizer is still a sex toy worth exploring. Human beings may be creatures of habit, but the element of surprise should never be underestimated. So give your clitoris a surprise.
5. Erika Lust XConfessions Subscription
In a world of porn that tends to be mostly cisgender and objectifies women, feminist pornographer, Erika Lust, is a breath of fresh air. Not only does she advocate for ethical porn, but she makes it, by truly caring about the well-being and welfare of her performers. Her pornography is also all-inclusive, because there's no one way to enjoy pleasure with your fellow consenting humans.
If porn is your ultimate visual stimulation, a subscription to XConfessions might be the gift to give yourself this year.
6. Le Wand Point
When Le Wand's Chrome Collection was launched this past summer it was a game changer for the brand. Although their wand vibrators, both regular size and petite, are fantastic, they still take up a decent amount of space — Chrome does the opposite. Each of the five vibrators from the collection all have the same power as the first line, but can fit in the palm of your hand, making them ideal sex toys for traveling.
While all the toys from this collection are great, what makes Point extra special is its curves and shape. It's wide enough to stimulate the vulva, but the point knows where to go to get down to business.
7. Crave Bullet
Of all the things a person with a clitoris should own, at least when it come to sex toys, it's a the bullet vibrator. While they may range in power a bit, all bullet vibrators are made to be compact and easy to use. No need to fuss with directions or download apps. In most cases, it's just a matter of pulling your new bullet vibe out of its packaging, making sure it's fully charged, and you're good to go.
8. Unbound Bender
In addition to Unbound's Palma ring, the feminist company relaunched their toy, Bender, making it even better than it was the first time around. With 10 speeds and patterns, and the ability to bend this way and that, Bender is great for both internal and external use. This flexibility makes Bender a toy that fits everyone's needs, no matter if they have a vulva or penis.
9. The Rabbit
If you're the type of person who really wants to treat themselves, then that's when you turn to the Rabbit. Made iconic many times over, initially in Sex and the City and then in pop culture in general, it might be safe to say that every person with a vulva should have at least one rabbit vibrator in their sex toy arsenal. If only to be able to say that, yes, you've tried it, because, yes, you definitely want to try it at least once.
Built for simultaneous clitoral and G-spot stimulation, the Rabbit, and its many incarnations, is a go-to for those who can't decide which type of stimulation they want most. And, honestly, in a world where you can have it all, why wouldn't you choose all?
If porn isn't your thing when it comes to arousal and getting yourself off, then you just might be the type of person who prefers erotica. It doesn't really matter what you deem sexy, as far as the written word goes because, like sex toys, there's something out there for everyone. From the Marquis de Sade, to Anais Nin, to more more modern writers of erotica like Carol Queen, there's a plethora of written sexual stimulation from which to choose. It just requires a bit of exploring to see what really gets you hot and bothered.
It's not selfish to think of yourself and, even sometimes, put yourself first. So while you're out and about — or online — shopping for others, don't forget you. You deserve a gift just as much as anyone else you love. Giving yourself the gift of pleasure is the ultimate act of self-care and love.
Univia, (2019), Self-Care: Mindful Masturbation, https://www.univia.com/Home/feeling-my-self-care
Janet Brito, PhD. PSY, LCSW, CS, psychologist and sex therapist