With Thanksgiving just a couple days away, it's time to make sure you have everything you need to make this holiday not just spectacular, but memorable. From turkey (or tofurky, if that's your thing), to all "the fixings," as my grammy would say, and, of course, a pie or two to choose from, this time of year is about spending time with family, eating, watching the Macy's Day Parade, and, of course, sex. If you didn't get the memo, yes, sex on Thanksgiving is a thing, meaning
Thanksgiving sex positions are also a thing.
While the idea of
having sex after a huge meal, in which second and third helpings were had by all, may seem a little overwhelming, if not intimidating, it doesn't mean you should skip it.
holidays are stressful for everyone," Ashley Campana, matchmaker with Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking, told Bustle in a previous article. "Multiply that by two people together for the holidays, a dash of family, and a sprinkle of expectations, and it's a likely scenario that the stress level will be higher than it would be alone."
And how does one
nip stress and anxiety in the bud? With sex. So do yourself and your partner a favor: find a discreet place to wander off to and get to it. Here are 11 sex positions ideal for Thanksgiving. How To Do It: Have the person with the penis sit down and cross their legs. Next, the person with the vulva lowers themselves into the lap of the person with the penis, while wrapping their arms and legs around them. It's like a really tight, cozy hug, but with intercourse in there. Why It's Great For Thanksgiving: The combination of the sleepiness that comes with the tryptophan in turkey and the overall laziness the comes from eating a big meal just makes people want to cuddle. This sex position is cuddling, while rocking back and forth, enjoying the intercourse. There's also no rush, so take your time. How To Do It: The person with the vulva or the person who's going to be penetrated by either a penis or a dildo, bends over the back of a couch. I highly recommend waiting until whoever is bent over has digested at least some of their dinner. Why It's Great For Thanksgiving: It's easy. Someone bends over. Someone gets penetrated. Orgasms are had, then you go back to to watching Love, Actually — or even better, The National Dog Show. How To Do It: When it comes to a full belly, there is no sex position more perfect than the spooning position. Decide who's going to be the big or little spoon, cozy on up, and the big spoon penetrates the small spoon from behind. Actually, even when it's not Thanksgiving, this position remains one of the best for when couples are feeling a little lazy. Why It's Great For Thanksgiving: Cozy and lazy, there's not too much bouncing around so food can digest — I mean, it really doesn't get much better than the spooning position when it comes to ideal Thanksgiving sex positions. How To Do It: Find a spot where both you and your partner can perfectly view each other, then just start the masturbating. Why It's Great For Thanksgiving: After a big meal and being bombarded by relatives you only see over the holidays with questions that you still don't know the answer to, sometimes you just want some space. You can get that space from your partner while still enjoying the sexy intimacy that comes with mutual masturbation. How To Do It: Although I'm not sure who named this position "The Vibrator," I prefer to call it, "The Helping Hand." Because, well, look at it, it's totally a helping hand no matter what position you're in — and no matter what it takes to get you or your partner off, The Helping Hand is there to satisfy. All you have to do is grab a vibrator, get into your favorite position, and go do it. Why It's Great For Thanksgiving: If you're one of those families who invites pretty much everyone and their mother to dinner, then sneaking off with a vibrator is going to speed things way up. By the time both you and your partner have climaxed, no one will even know you've been gone from the table. How To Do It: In contrast to the vibrator sex position, the cross is when you have time and lots of it to kill. So this one is best after everyone has gone home. While the partner with the penis lays on their side, facing the partner with the vulva, the latter scoots up so their hips are close enough for penetration. Naturally, this will involves a bit of wiggling and finagling, but once you get the right spot you can just relax. Why It's Great For Thanksgiving: Thanksgiving, just like every family holiday, requires some serious downtime to decompress. This position allows decompression and relaxing, all while enjoying penetration. How To Do It: Lying side by side and facing each other, the partner with the vulva should drop their leg over the hip of their partner and pull themselves into each other very, very close. It's similar to the lotus position with all the hugging, but with this one, you get to lay down. Why It's Great For Thanksgiving: Sure, you want to have sex and want to end a great meal with an orgasm, but who wants to put in all the effort? That's why this position is awesome. How To Do It: If you know how to do doggy style — and you probably should considering it consistently comes up as the most favorite sex position — to modify it, you just lower yourself down. When you do this, pressure is taken off the wrists and knees. Also, an arched back provides for deeper penetration and clenched upper thighs make things even tighter. Why It's Great For Thanksgiving: It's basically taking one of the most popular and beloved sex positions, making it even better than it normally is, and doing so after great meal. You simply can't lose with modified doggy. How To Do It: You may need to clear everyone out of the dining room for this one (I kid!) or find a desk or some other solid surface so the person with the vulva can lay down on their back. Next, the person with the penis (or dildo) penetrates from this angle. The crossed ankles create for a tighter feeling and the one doing the penetrating can used the legs for leverage to pull themselves even deep inside their partner. Why It's Great For Thanksgiving: Well, who doesn't want to lay down after Thanksgiving? Sure, your partner is doing most of the work, but promise them next time you'll be the one doing all the work. (Wink, wink.) How To Do It: Although it might be easier to have the person with the penis sit in the chair, then have the person with the vulva lower themselves down, if it works the other way too, then go for it. This position creates intimacy, phenomenal depth, and not too much movement to throw your full belly for a loop. Why It's Great For Thanksgiving: You can't really jostle too much in a chair, which is good for a stomach that may have overdone it on the pumpkin pie. Although grabbing a few Tums beforehand isn't a bad idea. How To Do It: For may of us, the first position we learn is missionary. The person with the penis lays down, the person with the vulva gets on top, and that person on top really hopes for an orgasm. Why It's Great For Thanksgiving: It's easy, traditional, far from complicated, and gets the job done. Add a vibrator to it, and you and your partner will be back out at the dinner table in less than 10 minutes.
If you've spent the last few days wondering what type of sex positions you'll be able to pull off at Thanksgiving this year, look no further. These 11 are all the positions you need.