Life
If you're looking to spice things up in your relationship, especially if you've been together for a few years, you'll want to think of ways to be extra flirty, to offer something new and exciting. Think back to the start, when you did flirty things to get your partner's attention when first dating, and bring back that playful energy to get the spark back in your relationship. And, it's safe to say, even in a long-term relationship, you don't want it to feel stale, so consistently introducing novelty and intrigue can keep the fire hot.
As a certified health coach, I encourage clients to keep things interesting in all their relationships, both platonic and romantic, as the surprise factor offers spontaneity and fun, and it guarantees that things will not get boring over time. So, while it's smart to still act flirty to prevent getting in a rut, if you feel as though you're already in one, you can easily get things going again and reignite that flame by introducing a newfound element of intrigue and sex appeal into the relationship. Here are seven flirty things experts say you can do to keep things interesting in your relationship, while maintaining that sexual chemistry and mystery, long-term.
1
Have Some Lighthearted Fun
"In childhood, play is informative and teaches you about yourself in the world," Jessi Leader, couples and family therapist (LAMFT) tells Bustle. "In adulthood, play provides a distraction from daily stress. It gives you permission to be kind to yourself and your partner. When a couple plays together they are actively showing that they value the relationship." This doesn't have to be sexual, but more light and fun. Leader suggests doing things like telling each other jokes, tickling, reviving your fort-building skills, or even dusting off the board games. Whatever works for the two of you.
2
Play In The Bedroom
Now's the time to talk about sexual fantasies and be open to trying new things in bed that you're both comfortable with, such as different role-playing scenarios and positions, Carol Queen, PhD, Good Vibrations Staff Sexologist, tells Bustle. Discuss it openly and learn what you both may like. As long as both parties consent, it could make time in the sheets super fun, and it'll create some heat in your relationship.
3
Try Dirty Talk
"Erotic talk is indeed a really terrific way to add the kind of spice you’re talking about," says Queen. "[G]etting comfy with erotic communication lets you deliver 'spoonful of sugar' information like wanting more clitoral stimulation before intercourse or really anything at all you might want to impart to a partner." If you're new to dirty talk, Queen suggests starting things off by narrating a fantasy, or leaving sexy notes for your partner to find.
4
Wear Something You Feel Sexy In
Queen recommends wearing something that makes you feel sexy, and give your partner a look if you feel comfortable doing so. Your partner may even want to slip into something more comfortable for you to see. Talk about it, and decide on something new that will work for both of you.
5
Make Eye Contact
There's something super sexy about staring into someone's eyes, especially when it's your partner's, says Queen. In fact, people make eye contact when they are attracted to you, so it's a direct indication that you're expressing your intrigue and desire for your partner by looking deep into those pupils.
6
Whisper In Public
Take a moment to give your partner a secret or sexy hint that there's something to look forward to when back at home together. Try "a few whispered words out in public where you can’t do anything about it and have to let the sexiness simmer til you get home," says Queen. "Some people are particularly turned on by dirty talk and the hush of a 'secret' sounding whisper," Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, and author of The Self-Aware Parent, tells Bustle. "It adds the excitement of tampering with the forbidden."
7
Take A Bath Together
"Take a shower or bath together and fill the bathroom with candle light versus electricity," says Walfish. "The visual stimulation, as well as having your partner wash, soap, rub, message, and titillate you is excitatory stuff." You can also play romantic (or frisky) music, depending on what mood you're going for.
If you're looking to add some flirtatious energy to your partnership, try adding in these fun little tips for sparking the flame and shaking things up.
