One of the things I was most terrified about when I first started going out by myself was that I’d look like a loner or I’d be bored. When I sat down for that first meal it was a little unnerving being surrounded by couples. But then my pizza came and I realised no one really cared whether I was alone or not. Going out to eat or do an activity by yourself is such a healthy way to push yourself out of your comfort zone and build your independence.

I’m a firm believer that you’ve got to treat yourself in this life. When you spend all week working, supporting your friends and family, and trying to live your best life you deserve to set a little bit of time apart to pamper yourself. Whether that means slinking off to a coffee shop for an hour, buying yourself some flowers, or going to that restaurant you’ve wanted to eat at you’ve got to spend a little time loving yourself and knowing you’re worthy. So, in the words of the high goddess Lizzo you deserve to feel “good as hell.”

So often I’ve got my phone glued to my hand, my laptop in front of me, and six to-do lists on the go. Modern life makes it hard to just stop. But when you’re sat in the nook of a coffee shop with nothing but a book and your thoughts you get the space to just indulge in quietness. I’d never check my phone on a date and I treat the dates with myself the same. No Instagram, no messenger, just the book that I’ve been trying to read all summer and my internal monologue.

As a Libra I'm painfully indecisive. One of the worst things about dates is deciding where to go and what to do. My dream is someone turning up and telling me what I’m having for dinner. When I go on dates by myself I’ve got to be my own dream. You can eat what you want without compromise. It doesn’t matter if you don’t fancy dinner at all, just skip straight to dessert. There’s no rules when it comes to dating yourself.

The most frustrating thing can be wanting to go somewhere and either not having anyone to go with or having to wait around for someone to clear their schedule. By setting a little bit of time for yourself you can visit exhibitions, explore your city like a tourist, or go to events without having to worry about what someone else is thinking. You never know, you might discover a new passion.

How often do you check in with yourself? While dating other people can be a lot of fun, it's also pretty draining. You’re giving up your precious free time to hang out with what’s sometimes a complete stranger. When you get in a rut of bad dates it can be hard not to internalise that. By committing even one hour of your week to sitting quietly somewhere to reflect, thinking about what’s going on in your life, and maybe the odd bit of people watching you’ll feel more intune with yourself which will make going back to dating other people way easier.

I know this is counter-intuitive but hear me out. One person alone is far more approachable than a couple or a group. I have met some of the most interesting people in gallery cafes, at book events, and even in Wagamamas simply because I sat by myself. If you start taking yourself on dates to places that you’re interested in the likelihood is you’ll meet like-minded people. And who knows? Your solo date may get a plus one.

Treating the time you give yourself to do what you want to do with the same importance that you'd place on a date is super important. If it means that you start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, doing things you want to do, and getting a bit of headspace it's so worth it. And there is no need to feel guilty. You're so worth it.