“Good Problems” Are The Key To This Viral Gratitude Practice

When it comes to practicing gratitude, many people look for the good in their lives. If they’re making a list, they might jot down flashy things like their fun job, cute dog, loving partner, or upcoming vacation — all clear positives that need to be acknowledged. But what if you listed your problems, too?

On Aug. 11, TikTok creator @victoriatheromantic talked about the concept of “good problems” and how noticing them can help you feel more grateful. “A big part of romanticizing your life is realizing when the good is good, but also realizing when the bad isn’t actually that bad,” she said in the clip.

Sometimes a good problem can be something major, like when you realize you actually aren’t happy at your dream job. When this happened to Victoria, she was able to reframe it as a good thing. There was once a time when she really wanted the gig. To become disillusioned meant she achieved her goal, gained experience, and figured out what she did and didn’t like. The sinking feeling also meant she was free to pursue a different job, and one that might be a better fit.

Good problems can be trivial, too, like when your coffee order gets messed up. Victoria mentioned she was recently craving a mocha, but every time she went to get one, it tasted slightly off. In the grand scheme of things, this was a good problem to have. If a slightly gross mocha is the worst part of your day? Well, that’s something to be grateful for.

Here, a therapist dives into the psychology of “good problems” and how they can help you feel more grateful.

Being Grateful For “Good Problems”

According to Ciara Bogdanovic, LMFT, a therapist and founder of Sagebrush Psychotherapy, this idea is a lot like looking for a silver lining to a problem. When you decide to look for a small positive in an otherwise negative situation, you start to train your brain to see opportunity in tough times, and that’s the stuff true gratitude is built on.

“You are not pretending it’s great, [but] you are saying, ‘Yes, this is uncomfortable and it is giving me a chance to grow, learn, or appreciate what is already good in my life,’” she tells Bustle. “This dual awareness makes space for gratitude without invalidating your feelings.”

In her video, Victoria shared a list of other “good problems,” which included jet lag (a sign you went on vacation), clutter in your home (a sign you have enough), boredom (a clue that you’re relaxed), and so on. These are all things you can reframe and be grateful for, especially if you’re looking for a silver lining. It can create an instant switch that helps you see things differently.

Reframing The Negatives

There are so many different ways to have a “good problem,” and Victoria’s TikTok got people thinking about their own. In her comments, someone wrote, “I’m feeling sad about saying goodbye to my parents after a long visit, but it is a good problem to have parents I love and a life I’m excited about back in my city.”

Another said, “I needed to hear this! I’ve been really disillusioned at work, but I never thought about it as I achieved something I always wanted and am now just learning more about myself and what I truly want in the process.”

To turn your problems into moments of gratitude, Bogdanovic recommends naming what you’re feeling — frustrated, scared, exhausted, etc. — before you pivot to exploring the upside. “If you skip validation, it can feel dismissive,” she says. “Once you have named the pain, you can focus on the silver lining to help prevent staying stuck in the unpleasant feelings, ruminating, or making the situation worse.”

Think about Victoria’s mocha mishap and how reframing it as a “good problem” made the disappointment sting a little less. “I’m trying to focus on this because there are so many actual, real problems in our personal lives and in the world that it’s important to not only be grateful when things are good,” she said. “But also to realize the silver lining when things are just kind of annoying — and doing your best to laugh at it.”

Source:

Ciara Bogdanovic, LMFT, therapist, founder of Sagebrush Psychotherapy